Remember when you were just a wee child? I used to love playing dress up in my mother’s clothes. I remember most fondly getting her night dresses in and putting on her shoes. Of course, I always chose her heels. What a comforting memory of being a small girl.
There’s something about wearing mom’s shoes that always made me feel closer to her somehow. She was a slim, active, vivacious woman, but we shared special moments in the mornings when Every one else had gone for the day.
It was in these moments that I would play dress up, mom would teach me Irish step dancing or I would help her around the house. Ah, those sweet, precious memories. I was also her tag-a-long when she went to play tennis. I watch her or simply socialise with the adults around the courts.
Somehow though, putting on my mom’s shoes made me feel closer to her as well as more like her. There was a time I signed her name instead of my own, just because I wanted to be her. She was my hero. I idolized her and all that she stood for.
As I grew, I filled her shoes eventually. Luckily for me, we wore the same size, although her feet were a little bit narrower than mine. She used to give me her shoes to stretch of they weren’t wide enough and I’d dutifully wear them a couple days and give them back.
Our styles changed over the years, but my desire to be like her has not. If I could only fill her metaphorical shoes I would be thrilled. I’m not sure I will ever be able to do all of the things my mom accomplished in her life. In fact, I know I won’t be able to, but just like her, I will leave my mark on this world. Somehow, I will make a difference.
Now, I’m actually wearing my mom’s shoes again. She would be glad that they are getting some use. Everyday, I am reminded that she is still with me. It is up to me to make that difference and someday, hopefully my daughter’s will feel like they want to fill my shoes.