My Grateful Moments


Often we go through life so busy we fill out mind with just the negative thoughts. It’s no wonder we get so stressed out as a society. We seem to have lost the ability to take the time to smell the roses and appreciate the little things around us. This has been my story for sometime, but over the last few months, I have reconnected with my old self, my grateful self.

This week is my holiday with the kids while my husband is 1250 miles away. It is easy to dwell on the fact that I miss him terribly, but I realize that he is just a text message or phone call away and boy, are those sweet gems in my day!

I spent day 1 of the vacation in bed until heading to the ER with major belly pain. Please understand that I am far from a hypochondriac. I have to be having excruciating pain before I decide that I need help. I’ve been told that I have a high pain tolerance so, I suppose that’s so good after having 4 kids.

I drove myself to the ER and had my 18 year old daughter meet me there later. She had to call a can for the first time which I understand was an experience in and of itself, but I’m so proud of her for doing it! She made it to me before I received the news of my diagnosis which have me strength. I needed her support badly.

If I was not in my new grateful state of mind, I would have been in the “poor me” phase still. The “when is the negative karma crap going to end for this family” state of mind. Luckily, I have re-learned to think that the glass is half full again. It’s not to say I don’t have times when I feel sorry for myself, but they are fewer and fewer these days. Everyone has crosses to bear and those that enter my life are mine to handle with grace and dignity.

Oddly enough, I got a similar diagnosis as my dad did on Christmas eve. I got mine in Easter eve. He had a pancreatic abscess surrounding a cyst. For me, it looks like either a cyst, pseudocyst or worst case scenario and least likely, pancreatic cancer. I’m a nurse and with everything presented to me so far, my educated hypothesis is a cyst. Having pain is a good thing when it comes to your pancreas.

The lesion is on the head of the pancreas. It is painful but the fabulous ER doctor, Dr. Bethel, prescribed good pain meds to get me through my holiday and home again. My husband is taking the day off on Friday and flying down here to drive us all back home. God bless that sweet man.

While my daughter and I were in the ER, her boyfriend and my 14 year old daughter cleaned our condo completely spotless, made dinner and cleaned up and took care of my crazy, wonderful 8 year old son. How incredible to know that these kids that are usually silly and sometimes wild can be super responsible, thoughtful and so kindhearted! I love them each so much! My only regret is getting sick on their holiday. They’ve been looking forward to this for so very long. I don’t like being I’ll and I’m not good at it, but I know I have to take care of myself. I’m still learning, but it’s great to know that I am so surrounded by such love and gratefulness too. In life it’s not just the big things, it’s the little things that really count.

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