Another Bit of Poetry

There are some days I am in a poetry kind of mood and somedays I just don’t really have it in me.  I wanted to share another one of my poems with you that I wrote about the feelings you have when you hold your newborn baby in your arms.  I can’t remember what prompted me to write this one, but I guess having the Boy who is newly nine as of last Wednesday made me feel like sharing this.  It’s another very short one and to the point. I promise!

wp-1461628521523.jpegEach birthday that my children have takes me back to those early days.  I reminisce about what they looked like and smelled like.  I have those certain special memories that I will always hold dear and close to my heart.  Those memories are mine alone.  No one can take those from me.  That fact makes them all the more special.

We all love our children and of course if you have more than one, like me, you have probably heard them ask, “who’s your favorite” or they make statements like, “I know you like him/her best.  Everyone knows that.”  If they only knew how much they were truly loved, they would never question our love again.  Each of my children is my favorite.  They each are very different and also very similar in many ways.  I love them each forever and always and I would do anything in the world to protect them.

If you would like to read my poem, please visit my poetry site at  http:/www.myblogoflife.com/child-of-my-heart/

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My Dad’s Apple Pie

wp-1462056657340.jpgThis gorgeous masterpiece is my dad’s apple pie.  Yes, my dad!  Never did I imagine that he would be making beautiful pies like this at 85 years young.  In fact, a month ago, he didn’t know how to make one.  He has learned to cook so much in the last 5 months and I am so very proud of him.  He never ceases to amaze me with his ability to learn new things.  He is the most awesome role model for our family. That being said, I never thought he would become such a good chef.  I guess I also didn’t want to think about that possibility.

Mom was an extraordinary cook.  Ask anyone and they will agree.  When mom had her knee replacement, she was unable to do the cooking so dad had to learn.  They were never big on take out or even going out to dinner.  Who would when mom could cook so well! You’d have to be mad to say no to her cooking.  I miss her cooking and I know dad does too, but he is learning. He’s come a long way in these last 5 months.

20141107_163830_HDRI showed dad how to make his favorite pie just once.  He ate the whole thing.  I didn’t even get a bite and I was a bit disappointed about it!  It looked so good coming out of the oven.  We talked about the kinds of apples, and dad assisted in the preparation of the first pie.  Since that pie a few weeks ago, he’s apparently made several.  Did I mention that he really loves apple pie?  Let me tell you, he’s becoming an expert.  This man can do anything!

We talk about food now among everything else.  He’s come a long way from asking if he should use the bake of broil setting on the oven. He cooks all his own meals and does a fantastic job.  His specialty is potatoes, but he’s an Irishman.  If he doesn’t have a potato for his supper, he hasn’t eaten yet. Perhaps we will take on pound cake next if the notion hits him.  Yes, the most delicious pound cake from scratch.  Life is always an adventure with dad and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  He is the greatest dad a girl could ever ask for.  I thank God every day for blessing me with such a wonderful dad and role model.  And dad, if you do happen to read this, I love you with my whole heart, always.

 

If We Were Having Coffee

happy-nurseIf we were having coffee, I would tell you how much I love our coffee weekends.  I know I’m new to this, but I’ve been looking forward to this all week. It’s been a busy week. I would tell you that I’m glad I made the change from my other job.  This job will eventually become my home just as my last job was.  It’s always hard to leave home, even when you know it’s for the best.  I will always treasure my memories and my friendships that I made there.  I was there for a long time.  It’s hard to say goodbye, but luckily, I keep in touch with my friends.  My new job is completely different from my old job.  I’m refreshed when I think about it.  I don’t dread going to work, not that I did with my old job, but I knew I would be completely drained by the end of the day, devoid of any energy to do or be anything more than a blob of mush in my bed.  Once I have learned how to do my new job properly, I think, think, mind you, that I will actually still have the energy at the end of the day to be a wife and mother.  I know I’ll be home by 5:20pm everyday and not some unknown time.  That gives me peace of mind.  It also pleases my husband and my children. I am refreshed and renewed.  Who knew?  And to think I put this off for so long!

wp-1461835552717.jpegIf we were having that coffee that we so enjoy, I’d tell you that I have a newly nine year old boy this week!  Yep, the Boy turned nine on Wednesday. He was thrilled with his new hockey gear and even got some early, just by a day, so he could use it for Tuesday’s night’s game.  He even received new blue laces for his skates.  Now, even in his uniform, I can pick him out by his skate laces and his stick.  We had to do some spiffy taping on the stick to make it “cool”.  Sure, he received some clothes which he actually was very excited about.  Yes, he’s an odd boy who likes clothes. He practiced gratitude which pleased me tremendously!  I didn’t even have to remind him to be grateful.  He even got new boxers as a present because he has decided that the briefs are annoying and he’d rather just go without than wear them. Lord help me, please! Since receiving the boxers, however, he’s thrilled to bits and no complaints in the undergarment department!

wp-1461887341942.jpegI would give you the latest update on our little squirrel friend, Dexter.  He is thriving!  Dexter is still not weaned.  Typical baby boy, just like my human boy, wanting to hold on to “mama” as long as he can, I suppose.  He now sucks down anywhere from 10-20ml of squirrel formula at a time several times a day.  Usually, he takes about 15 ml. He’s a good little squirrel but he does poop a lot, especially if he’s sitting on your shoulder.  Luckily it’s very tiny and solid and easy to pick up.  He is still on his calcium supplement for his calcium deficiency, but we have been able to lower the dose.  He loves to climb, skitter around his cage and jump from person to person.  He’s tried climbing up my curtains, but we caught him and that was the end of that.  Soon, we will hopefully be able to release him.  It will be difficult to say goodbye, but I have a feeling we will be seeing him a lot in our yard, especially looking for his squirrel biscuits.

 

Light of My Heart

Another poem I wrote that I am fond of was written for Hubs.  He truly is my better half.  He is the one that comforts me when I need comforting, which has been a lot over the last 6 months.  He knows just the right words to use to get through to me.  He is the love of my life.  I couldn’t just go through this life without him by my side.

We were high school sweethearts and friends before that even.  I’ve known him since I was 10.  I dumped him.  Yes, I know.  I was going through a phase in life when I was young and didn’t understand myself all that well.  I actually fell madly in love with someone else and got married.  I remained in love with my husband for a very long time, but we both changed over time and eventually divorced.  Guess who never married! Yep, that would be Hubs.  This summer we will celebrate our 10th anniversary.  I have never been happier to have him in my life.

We have both grown in our relationship.  He and I still work on communication with each other.  I’m a communicator while he is not.  It’s just our personality type. I’m very open about everything.  He is very private.  When they say opposites attract, it’s true to an extent.  Hubs and I are different in many ways, but very much alike in others.  The choice we make everyday is to accept each other as we are.

I hope you enjoy reading my poem for Hubs.  He is the most wonderful man I know.  If you’d like to read my poem, and I do hope you do, please visit my poetry blog at My Blog Of Life.  There you will find all my poetry.  Thanks in advance for visiting.  Oh, and if you’re worried water is cheap.  What is there iare all original poems and I promise, they’re short!

Finding Joy after 40

As we approach the middle of our lives, our mindset sort of changes. We start to think of things a little differently and start to think about things we really had never considered before. One of those things is our own mortality. When we are young, we think we will live forever. Oh, how life changes us.
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We begin to ponder more seriously whether heaven and hell really exist. We ponder our financial futures and if we will be able to retire, ever! We contemplate our spouse’s mortality and health becomes an issue. If we are in the dating realm, we contemplate if we will ever find our person, our soul mate.

Family is more important than anything still, but our family roles change as well. Children grow up and start to leave our nest. I will have two daughters in college this fall and I know already how just one leaving changes the dynamics of our family. I am having a hard time imagining life with two out of the house, but life continues to march on.
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Losing my mom last November, my world changed forever. No longer could I pick up the phone and talk to her about this or that. No longer could we go have our favorite salad at Applebee’s. Her life here was completed and my own was turned upside down. For anyone that has been through the loss of their mother or father, you understand.  That loss brings to mind our own mortality.  What would happen to our family if we died? Would our children be okay?  Would our spouse be okay?  Would he/she remarry? Am I ready if God calls me home?  Will I go to heaven or hell?  Will my family be okay financially?  So many questions.
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Then, once you start thinking about those things, you start thinking about what would happen if someone you love dies as well as what will happen when you lose your other parent.  It’s a place that you could easily lose yourself if you let yourself get sucked into that void.  Death is part of life.  We are all born and the only guarantee in life is that we will eventually die.  Morbid thought, isn’t it? But losing someone so important to your very being is losing a piece of yourself.  They live on in your heart, but no longer are they here in bodily form to touch and to have a conversation with.

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As we get to the middle years, even our style of parenting changes.  One of my mom’s best friends used to tell her that every time you have a child, that child comes at a different stage in your life.  You aren’t the same at 26 as you are at 37.  It makes sense then that your children will all be just a little different because you are a little different.  Sure, there’s the genetics and the birth order, but the other factor I see in my home is the kids have different parents because we are different than we used to be.  At 26, when my oldest was born, I was full of energy.  I had no aches or pains.  I saw the world differently than I did at 37 1/2 when I had my youngest child.  Because of this, my youngest child does get away with more than my oldest did at 9.  My oldest was also more responsible too.
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Financially, we start really focusing on the future and we are able to see that there may be a light at the end of the work tunnel.  Maybe we will be able to retire, someday, but will we have saved enough?  With kids in college and more than likely weddings sometime after that (I have 3 daughters), it’s hard to come to grips with the idea that I will have to work long after 62 if I’d really like to retire comfortably.

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I also find that although I love babies, I like other people’s babies.  I have no babies pulling on my apron strings anymore and no desire to have anymore children.  I have a dear friend who has only one, beautiful little boy.  She and her husband are considering adoption at the moment.  For them, I am ecstatic. I, on the other hand, want nothing to do with bringing more children into my own house.  Four is my limit and I’m always kicking the kids to play outside because they are loud and messy.  It’s not that I dislike my children, in fact, I love them with all my heart.  It’s just that I would like to keep the few things I have in my house safe from hockey in my living room or wrestling.  Someday I pray that I will have grandchildren to spoil, but I certainly hope never to have to worry about having any additional children of my own.  I’m too old anyway. Thank God for that and hysterectomies. I’ll gladly wait for grandchildren now but I’m in no hurry.
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As I said before, life continues to move on.  We have choices.  We have so many things on our mind, but we have to move on too and remember to make the most of each day.  Each day is a gift.  Each child is a gift.  Each time you spend time with someone you love, that’s a gift.  Life is a gift not to be squandered.  We all must focus on the good and positive things in our lives, the people and things that bring us joy.  Make the most of today and everyday  You only get one chance to live your life, so dwelling on what could have been is self defeating.  So, find joy in your day and focus on that instead of the negative thoughts or comments.

 

Writing Poetry and Being a Nurse

I haven’t been writing much poetry lately, but in these wee hours of the night, I sometimes find myself doing just that.  I am a nurse by profession, yet I have never written one poem about being a nurse.  It’s scary sometimes to be a nurse even when you’re very experienced.  I know this because I’ve been in the field of nursing since I was 17 years old.  That was nearly 30 years ago.  Man, am I old! Please, you don’t have to be that quick to agree! Anyway, I digress.

Brooke-webTonight, I wrote a short poem about a nurse who is starting a new job.  In fact, it’s her first day on the job.  How scary, especially if you are a new nurse.  I still remember that feeling all these years later.  In fact, I have dreams sometimes that I’m working at one of my former jobs but I’m late or not where I should be.  It’s usually some variant on the same theme.  I don’t have them often, but they usually happen when I’m feeling anxious about something at work or most recently because I just started my new job.  I’m not a job hopper so I don’t change jobs frequently.  That would just freak me out! Once you know your job, it’s hard to make that leap of faith and learn new things again, I think.

This is the basis of my latest poem, simply titled, “The Nurse”. I’ve been asked, by Hubs, if I would want to go back to hospital nursing on the floor.  My answer to him was a resounding “NO”. I loved my time on the floor, but I’m not sure my back or my feet could handle that anymore.  I love the setting I’m in now.   If you would be interested in reading my poetry, please visit my blog at https://wordpress.com/post/myblogforlife.wordpress.com/2360. I encourage you to leave me some feedback on anything you read there.  I don’t get much traffic, in fact, I rarely get any traffic and even rarer still do I receive comments.   I look forward from hearing from you very  much! As for me, I’m finally going to sleep now.  Many blessings my friends.

 

I Should be Sleeping…

night skyOf course I should be sleeping like most of my house is right now.  I am tired, but I’m not tired.  It’s a bit odd, this insomnia.  It luckily doesn’t happen every night, but tonight is one of those nights when the creative juices are flowing and I can’t seem to turn off the laptop.  I have to write.  I realize that there are those out there that don’t understand this phenomenon, but then there are those of you that do understand.  As it is, when I have one of these moments, my Hubs is dead asleep, the kids are in bed, the animals have all taken up their spots of respite for the night and here I sit with my fingers tapping rather aimlessly along the keyboard of the HP laptop that, in reality belongs to my 18 year old daughter.

I had been feeling rather anxious about my new job.  I can’t really tell you why.  I enjoy it so far, although it will take time to adjust.  I am a float nurse at a clinic which means I will have to learn many different routines so that I can fill in for the nurses whose place I am taking for the day.  I’m very adaptable, but this prospect is a bit daunting.  I hate the idea of not being good enough or really, I suppose of failing.  I know I will get the hang of things eventually, but I guess at the moment, I’m just a little overwhelmed.  I’ve spent a great deal of this week in classes which has improved my mindset tremendously though.

I just finished the new employee orientation class and I can honestly say it was wonderful.  Not only did I get to meet some great new people, I also was able to learn more about myself and the way my mind works.  We were able to participate in a great activity called Real Colors.  It breaks everyone down to 4 colors.  There are Blue, Gold, Green and Orange.  I discovered through these small activities that I am most definitely a Blue with a good splash of Orange mixed in.  I was able to administer the test to my husband and just as I thought, he is a Green.

people-with-colorpieces-whiteI know what you’re thinking.  What the heck is she going on about? The colors represent different personality types.  For instance, as a Blue, I have certain characteristics.  I scored very highly in this category so I am a strong Blue.  Not everyone is so predominantly one color, but I most certainly am. Characteristics that absolutely describe me are being a good listener, being stressed by feeling artificial, loyalty is my highest value, key characteristic is authenticity, peacemaker at work, takes pride in empathy, validated by acceptance of others, trusts intuition and feelings.  Basically, I am very sensitive, focus on feelings, love to help others, need to be accepted and validated and love harmony.

I have seen other personality tests before but this one made great sense to me.  It was simple and straight to the point.  The thing that I really thought was intriguing was that if I took this a few years ago, or if I take this a few years from now, I may get a completely different result.  We change as people.  Things that happen to us along the path of life change us.  I would love to administer this test to so many people just for fun.  Learning about the different types of personalities and what makes them tick also helps us to understand how to interact with them more effectively.

anxiety picture What a fabulous tool to have in any workplace.  I can imagine what some of my family is and what some of my friends are based on what I’ve learned today. I believe that with this knowledge I will be better able to communicate with my new coworkers.  I look forward to the challenges that I face.  I have never been so happy that I was made to take a class.  These last 2 days have inspired me to greet this new challenge head on instead of with my tail tucked in between my legs.

Sharing with the World

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When it comes to sharing online, we as a society have become a little, well, how do I say it? We over share. Not everything that happens in our lives needs to be online, but as humans we also have a need to share our lives with others. So, where do we draw the line? There are some rules and some things that should be rules.

Teenagers are notorious for over sharing online. I have seen this firsthand, as a mother of 3 teenage daughters! It happened twice. One time sharing too much affected my daughter negatively. Another time, another daughter was affected my her own comments made in anger that she regretted posting immediately after posting them. She tried to delete the comment but it was too late. The comment had been seen and spread like wildfire. All broken hearts made by hurtful comments eventually healed, but took a long, long time.

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People have a tendency to share so much on social media. I love to look at my friend’s photos and read the inspiring things they write or share. What I can’t stand, however, is people posting negative comments or fighting online. The whole idea of spreading negativity and rudeness drives me crazy! Do you really need to, or want to air your dirty laundry online for all to see?
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I do share quite a bit online, I admit, but I try to be very careful as well. I think before I write anything. I ask myself something that my mom used to tell me. She told me to ask myself several questions actually before I wrote anything. First, am I writing something nice and second, do you remember that once it’s written and read, you can’t take it back.

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Words are a wonderful tool for expression.  They communicate our thoughts, our feelings and our hopes and dreams, but we have to be very careful in what we share with the world, especially on the Web! Too much, and we risk losing so much! Showing some care in what we share and what we write will perhaps help our world to be a little more positive in such a negative time.


This is a Finish the Sentence Friday post.  This week’s sentence was “Sharing on the internet…” hosted as always by the phenomenal Kristi at http://www.findingninee.com.  Please visit her site and enjoy the other posts by my fellow authors on this subject as well as Kristi’s wonderful post.  I promise, you’ll be glad you visited!

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Dexter is A-Growing

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Squirrels are curious little creatures. They are smart, enthusiastic and extremely energetic! They love to explore their new surroundings and they like to eat, but are particular about what they eat.

We have been blessed to be given the opportunity to rehab Dexter. He’s a red ground squirrel who entered our lives several weeks ago with his sickly brother, Felix. Unfortunately, Felix didn’t make it but Dexter is thriving!

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There is a disease called Metabolic Bone Disease which affected both babies probably caused by their mama being sick and not able to produce enough milk for them. Mama was killed which is how these precious babies came to be in our care. MBD is a severe lack of calcium which is a very painful disease which will cause weakness, lethargy, decreased appetite, paralysis, seizures and eventually death if not treated immediately. Dexter was lucky. Felix, well, we weren’t able to save him.

Dexter was dragging his front paws and whimpering when the disease became very apparent. He had been fine the night before, climbing in his cage and all. Within a few days of calcium treatments, he was no longer in pain and had control of his muscles again but was still lethargic. The treatment continued.

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Eventually, he recovered from this awful disease but continues with treatment. We have to make certain his diet is high in calcium and he still is taking his formula. Just when I think he will wean, he wants his syringe of formula. Yes, there is special squirrel formula. He loves bananas for a very special treat. Knowing the importance of the balance of calcium and potassium for proper muscle control, I.e. your heart, I don’t mind giving him a little bit every once in a while. He also loves spinach, avocado,  walnuts, grass, wood, dandelion leaves and other dark leafy greens.

We hope to release our little friend in the coming weeks back into nature where he belongs. It will hard to say goodbye to him, but his place is there, not stuck in a cage. I hope he lives in our backyard and lives a long life. Squirrel babies are the best but also are the most needy of all the wild babies. We love our little guy and hope soon he will be happy in our big tree out back.

I Should Be Sleeping…

Oh the joys of waking in the middle of the night. I’ve got just a few things in my mind in these wee hours but perhaps sleep will be kind enough to take me back for another dream or two before my day must truly begin.

My sweet boy is now the newly 9 year old. Where has that time gone? We had a lovely family celebration tonight complete with mashed potatoes, a burger bar, homemade baked beans and corn on the cob. What more could a boy ask for! He received some new clothes, which were needed and new hockey gear, including a new curved stick! Heaven! Those of us present for his birth were all there, minus his oldest sister.

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Of course, now we have my dad present for all these important occasions and I couldn’t be happier! I know how much mom would have loved being here if she were here, but having dad makes me so incredibly happy. He’s relaxed, hilarious and so very kind. For so many years, my parents were in another state for these big events and holidays. They were the missing pieces of the puzzle. Now, even though mom may be gone, having dad here completes that puzzle and makes our family whole. How could I ever repay him for all that he does for our family everyday? All I can do is to show him my love and to be a good daughter. I want him to be proud of the woman I’ve become.

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I shall attempt to sleep again now, to dream of far away places and new lands. Each day is a new day and I want to greet it refreshed and renewed! Good night my dear readers! Sleep well!