Hockey, Children and What?

Watching my son on the hockey rink tonight, I was filled with such love for him.  He is such a great kid.  I love all my children.  I am just at a time in my life where I can really enjoy watching this one grow.  He is so full of life and promise.  It amazes me so much each day when I listen to him and hear something new that he’s learned.

Just yesterday, I was watching something and on the screen, the actors said something about the French Revolution happening 40 years in the future.  My nearly nine year old looked at me and asked me if I knew about the French Revolution.  When I said yes, he told me that he did too.  He said that he learned about it in that class he hates, Social Studies.  I reminded him that Social Studies is cool, it’s really history and history is awesome.  Maybe he’ll like it next year.

I remember when his sisters were nearly nine.  I was in a different time in my life then, but still enjoyed my time with them, but it was a different time.  There were three of them and they are closer in age.  The age difference between the girls and the Boy is great and somehow, it just makes things different.

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This was his first time on the hockey rink.  He’s much more stylish now!

 

The Boy astounds me everyday, sometimes in a good way, sometimes a funny way and sometimes not such a good way.  I worry about him, a lot!  I fear for him, for me, really. I can’t imagine my life without him in it.  I can’t imagine my life without any of my children in it.

My greatest fear is something happening to my children.  All three of my girls have had surgery.  Somehow, being a nurse I was alright and calm through those.  I know how strong they are.  I know that for the most part they make good decisions in life, but I worry about some freak accident taking their life away from them, and from me.  I’m not sure I could survive losing my child.  And my son? My husband and I only have him.  My girls are from my previous marriage.  I fear that losing my son would tear my marriage apart.  If it didn’t kill me, how could we survive?  How would I survive?

I pray everyday for the health and wellness of my family.  I know that I can’t focus on the what if’s in this life.  If I didn’t have faith that God was a good and loving God, I don’t know what I would do.  My family is the most important thing in my life.  Losing my mom brought all those thoughts racing home to my heart.

I know that God must have sent Hubs to me to help me keep things logical and sane.  Can’t tell you how much that man keeps me grounded.  I know that most kids grow up and make a life for themselves and do just fine, but in my career, I’ve seen a great deal.  I’ve seen successes, hardships, failures, heartbreaks. The future is not for us to know.  All we can do is pray for the best and have faith that everything will turn out.  With 4 kids, I just pray I’m not tempting the odds with my sweet little boy.  He is the light of my life.


This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post.  The subject this week was

“One of my biggest fears I ever had to face…”

Feel free to use “One of my fears…” as well.

Hosts are Kristi from http://www.findingninee.com) and sentence-thinker upper Michelle Grewe of http://crumpetsandbollocks.com/

simple ftsf

8 thoughts on “Hockey, Children and What?

  1. nice post, i understand your anxiety, but don’t focus on that it will take away the joy of watching them and having them, no amount of worry can chance the future but trust God to be with your family at all times xx

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  2. I’m very fearful of something happening to my son as well. I’m not sure how I’d ever be able to go on. I like that your son plays hockey – my younger brother played and really liked it. Maybe I should look into it for my son (although he’d have to learn to skate as well).

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  3. You wrote about a fear that try not to think about. I mean I do of course worry about things – school, FOOTBALL, riding bikes & scooter. He’s eleven and I worry about a few years into the future if/when he’ll have his driver’s license if there will be a red light at our entrance. But if there’s not I can’t let the fear grip me and not let him drive, play football etc. I do totally get you about tempting the odds though.

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  4. I try not to let it get to me most of the time, but it’s just one of those things that is there. I try to focus on the here and now. It’s just that I’m a worrier and a work in progress. Hockey is a lot like football. They slam into the wall all the time! He loves it though. I would worry more about football. My son wants to play that as well and the problem is he is really good at football too! Oh, these boys!

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  5. I was watching Dead Pool, and right after he lost his good looks, one of the kids woke up needing pants because she wet them (on the toilet of all places), and all I could think about was hoping something like that would never happen to my pretty girls. I wouldn’t want them to go through that, as stupid as it was. I think as parents, we tend to just worry more. When Gabby was a baby, I used to watch her sleep in fear of SIDS. It’s just something happening to our children is a huge fear that haunts us in the back of our hearts, and it makes some of us, like myself, a little more neurotic than normal.

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