I arrived at work this morning for a class that I was supposed to go to from 8am to 11am only to find out that I was, indeed, an hour early and actually started at 9am. Today, was day three of my new job. It’s been an interesting week so far. Me being me, of course, have my worries about it, but Hubs tells me that I’m fine and “not to worry. It’s only been 3 days, for God’s sake.” He also says that, of course I’ll fit in, not to worry because I’m a great nurse with 20 years experience. My problem? I worry and fret anyway.
Starting a new job is tough. Meeting new people and having to make new connections with new people, much tougher for most people. I’m one of those people. I’m always worried about how I come across to people when they first meet me. Do I look like I know what I’m doing or do I look like an airhead? Do I sound like the intelligent person that I know lives inside me or do I sound like an idiot? Ah, there is only one chance to make that first impression. Therein lies the problem. Many first impressions are not the ones that I’d like to remember, but then again, I’m the eternal optimist, except where it comes to myself. I tend to think the worst about how I come across to others.
I really think I must try too hard, but I suppose it’s just the nerves of the situation that gets me. I know I’m a nervous talker. I like to know about people and inevitably, I have this strange tendency to tell people too much about myself and my family. I’ve gotten a lot better, but I am ever a work in progress. I always try to find something in each person that I can relate to. Sometimes, it’s just too darn hard because they just won’t talk to me. That’s when you want to throw your hands up and say, “Seriously, I bathed today? What is it about me that you don’t like?” You know when you get that feeling like you just don’t jive with that other person? Sometimes you feel like you did, but in reality you were wrong and they were just putting up a facade.
That may have happened to me this past week, but I suppose I may never know. Some people are nice to your face but may talk behind your back. That is always my biggest fear. I’m just not one that does that. I’m just a worrier and I worry too much about things I have no control over. I will always try to put my best foot forward and I will always have that smile upon my face. Afterall, a smile takes less muscles than a frown and you never know what is going on in someone else’s life.
I hope that the people at my new job like me. I do like it there very much so far and I will work hard, once I have a clue what I’m doing. Next week, more classes! Yeah! That will help. Then I might actually be useful someplace! Until then, smile on and make friends.