A Kinder Sort of World

th.jpgAt work today, I was met first with a challenge.  I went to the department I was to be in for the day.  No problem there.  I was met by 2 of the department’s nurses, neither of whom was the one which I was scheduled to train with, but both were willing to help me.  What a great feeling, a feeling of being wanted.  I was delighted to be welcomed with such warmth by these two nurses and this didn’t stop there.

I went to lunch on my own.  I like to do this most days because I like to blog or read some of your great posts, but today, I had to charge my rapidly dying phone.  For some reason, my phone was losing it’s charge at an exponential rate of maybe, say, light speed.  I have no idea why this was happening, but it was.  I was waiting for one particular phone call and as my phone was already down to 23% when I left for lunch, I thought giving it my lunch hour just might help.  It did, a little bit.  So much for reading and blogging though.

When I got back from lunch, however, I got to meet the person I planned on meeting initially, this morning.  We shall call her Tessa.  She reminds me of a Tessa.  She is absolutely one of the most helpful human beings I have ever met.  At first, I observed her, like I always begin my training, but then, I asked if I could try something to be helpful.  She let me!  She actually let me work on some of the tasks and the morning nurse let me room patients all by my little lonesome.  I’m on cloud nine right now.  I actually feel less like a complete and utter burden and more like a slightly mostly insignificantly helpful human!  Yes, I did stuff, people!  Me, I did stuff, today!  I wasn’t completely worthless at work!

Even the physicians are awesome in this group.  They are kind and patient.  I apologized immediately for anything that I may get wrong today or in the future as well as for asking a billion questions, but I’m a float nurse.  I have to know how everyone works.  That’s the beauty of what I do.  I am a nomad in the clinic setting.  I take my bag of important information that I acquire with me from day to day, office to office.  I carry it everywhere.  I’m portable and so are my skills.

I will get this job to work well for me, just as I will find my niche in working this job.  So far, I absolutely love it.  I haven’t been this happy in a job for a very long time.  I still can’t believe that it took me so long to make this decision to move here from home health, but I thank God daily for leading me on this new journey.  With such kind people surrounding me, my world is a kinder sort of place.

Thank you!

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I am so grateful to all of you. I had my most successful day so far blogging with 117 views! Wow! I’m at a loss for words. Usually I have 40 to 60 views. My highest number previously was 95! Thank you for your continued support in my endeavor to share my heart with the world. You made this happen. Bless you for making me so happy and making Deirdre’s Daily Dose a success!

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Where Did All the Funny Guys Go?

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What is it with most comedians these days? Do they all believe they have to use foul language and inappropriate material? I love a good comedian but seriously, what is with them these days?

I can take a bit of language and I’m certainly no prude, but watching some of today’s comics is just plain raunchy. What has happened to our society? Have we become so stupid that we don’t understand anything subtle or any of the nuances of humor?

Back in the days when humor was really funny, there may have been some foul language or potty humor, shall we say, but comics could keep an audience’s attention with more than that. They had funny anecdotes that had great timing. It’s always about the delivery. There are still a few excellent comics out there, but they seem to be so hard to find. Where did they go? I, personally would rather watch someone delivering funny stories that my family can watch.

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I know there was only one Robin Williams and my God we were blessed to have him. He was my absolute favorite funny man. He could read the phone book and make people cry from laughter. Was he sometimes inappropriate? Yes, but not always. Did he use foul language? Again, yes, but didn’t need to in order to make us laugh. Oh, how we need more people like him.  Where did all the funny men go?

Blank Looks

Image result for blank looksShe stared at the plate set before her.  It was the weirdest conglomeration of food she’d ever seen.  The blank look on Kate’s face must have elicited the response of giggles from her husband.  He had done this on purpose, but she really would never know.  The kids were to have chosen the meal for Mother’s Day breakfast, but little did Kate know that her darling husband, Ryan had assisted them in the choosing. The girls were elated to have made mommy breakfast in bed.

As she choked down chocolate cake, scrambled eggs, some fruit salad consisting of strawberries and bananas, and some leftover pork chop from the night before with peach compote, Kate thought of how lucky she was to have such a beautiful family.  She relished the thought of this happening every year, but knew this may be the last year.  She had been diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer and had just undergone her bilateral mastectomy 2 weeks before.  She couldn’t think of her little girls growing up without her.  She had a will to live that was fiercely strong.

Her girls, Ella, aged 4 and Emma, aged 2, were her life.  She was so blessed to have them as well as having the most loving and supportive husband.  Ryan worked so hard so she could stay at home with the girls.  How had she not felt the lump? Why did she stop doing the stupid monthly self breast exams?

Tomorrow she would start the radiation and next week her chemo would begin.  She knew how sick she would be from both.  She didn’t like to think about it, but she did think about it.  Of course she thought about it.  She was normal, for God’s sake.  And she prayed every day.  She prayed for healing.  She wasn’t sure how her girls were going to handle all this change.  She looked up at her husband.  Now it was his face that was blank.

“Honey, what’s the matter?” she asked him gently reaching for his hand.

“It’s just that I could tell by looking at your lovely face what you were thinking about.  You are so beautiful.  I want you to know that I will always love you.  I will always be here for you and we will get through this.  I love you, honey.  I love you with all my heart.  I know that you are scared and I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t, but honestly, you’re going to make it.”

“Thank you,” was all she could manage to say between the tears streaming down her face.  The blank look was gone between both of them.  There love had lasted through these last 20 years of high school, college and the rest.  Their’s was a love that would stand the test of time.  If time was what God and medicine would give them.

Being Connected

Image result for when your mobile phone not workingWhile I love technology for the most part, there is part of me that also loathes it when it decides to take a flying leap into the dark abyss and ceases to function.  This happened this weekend.  My cell phone decided to act strangely while I was using it on Saturday.  I was looking at the screen and trying to do something when, Voila! the darn screen sort of flashed black and went dim.  I could hear the sounds and all, but the screen remained black.  Not good for someone who was getting phone calls and text messages.  Ugh!  What now!

I tried to turn it off, but my phone has a touch screen which requires me to be able to see it to turn it off.  No luck.  I took out the battery.  I let it rest for a bit and tried again.  It came on for a moment before going black again.  I tried again several times, but no success.  I called my provider after starting an insurance form to get a replacement phone.  I’m so glad I did.  I was able to take the phone in to the store!  Unfortunately, I have lost a bunch of pictures stored on that phone, but otherwise, my world is still somewhat intact and my connection to the outside world via mobile phone remains secured. It only took about an hour.  Thank God for the technician who was able to fix my other phone which needed to be wiped clean, as it had issues too. My black screen phone is most definitely a deceased phone.

How did we become such a society that relies on our electronic devices so much?  My greatest concern was being connected.  It was being able to text and talk on the phone, as this phone is my primary phone.  It was also about reaching my calendar.  All my appointments are on there.  My work schedule is on there.  My manager at work texts me on there.  Never before have I been that attached to a phone, but here I am, completely tethered to my phone.  You’d swear I was 17 years old!

I’m not one who can’t put my phone down, but I’ll admit, I have it in my hands most of the time.  I have that very bad habit.  I play my word games on it.  I love Words With Friends, WordOx, Word Search, AlphaBetty, as well as several puzzle games, but I also like to feel connected to everyone.  I love feeling connected to WordPress.  I want to check my stats and write posts as they enter into my head instead of later, or at least jot my ideas down if I’m not in a situation where I can write about them.

Have mobile phones and technology helped or hindered our memories?  That’s what I’m thinking about as I write this.  Is it great to be able to connect so easily, but I was raised in a generation that didn’t have anything like this.  Now, I see my children drawn to their phones as if their very lives depended on them.  What the heck is wrong with these kids?  They can’t even talk to  you and keep their eyes on you instead of their phone.

Life was so much simpler without technology. We talked to each other more.  I’m making the effort to get back to that in my life and it has been so wonderful.  I love my family so much more than ever.  Without having a screen to look into, I see the lives of my loved ones.  I see faces with expressions looking back at me.  Real conversations do happen.  Don’t lose yourself in technology.  It just will do what my phone did.  It will break down and give you the dreaded black screen of death one day without any remorse.  It has no feelings.  It is just an electronic.  The faces of your family though, will love you and appreciate the time spent with them.  They will chat with you, cry with you and most of all, they will laugh with you.  They have life in them and won’t give up on you when you most need them.

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The Lavender Dress

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She loved storms and this was a beautiful one in her eyes.  The sky was dark, so dark almost as dark as if it were night.  The brilliant flashes of lightning shattered the sky every few minutes and the thrashing rain pelted the windows as if they were going to break it at any second, an invader into her house, yet not so much.  Yes, this was a beautiful storm for sure.  Karri was hoping this one would last for a good long while so she could use it as an excuse not to meet him.  She really didn’t have any good reason not to meet Claude, other than she agreed to, one last time.

She continued getting herself ready.  She put on the short, lavender dress.  The one that went with her auburn hair so well.  People always gave her compliments and told her it brought out the color of her eyes when she wore it.  “What did they know?” she thought. She was in the mood to tell him off.  How dare he call her after not even calling her for over a week.  She had texted him everyday to see if everything was alright.  She hadn’t heard one word.  She was done.  She would tell him it was over. Karri wasn’t someone who put up with excuses.  She had done it before, but that was the old Karri.

Claude had gone to Syracuse to see his ailing mother, or so he said.  Why would he not text back, unless he chose not to. Well, Karri had decided after the 3rd or 4th day that it was really quite simple.  Claude was seeing an old girlfriend.  She knew who it was.  It had to be that one. The one who broke his heart years ago.  Cheryl or Carol.  Whatever her name was.  It really didn’t matter.  Whatever the excuse was, Karri wasn’t going to hear it.  Not this time.  She really didn’t care what he said.  All she could think was, “Oh no, not again.”  It was like that with her in relationships.  This one was just like Ricky.

Ricky had been her previous boyfriend, but he cheated on her several times.  When she found out, she broke it off and never looked back.  But she really thought Claude was different.  Claude was sophisticated.  He was more complex than Ricky.  Maybe she was wrong.  Maybe something more happened at home in Syracuse.  Maybe his mom was seriously sick.  Ricky was carefree and in a band.  He was no businessman like Claude.  Claude usually called every day.  She started to rethink things.  Maybe she was wrong about him.  He was a good man.  She really had no reason to believe that he had done anything wrong.

When the phone rang, her heart stopped.  She picked it up slowly.  “Hello?”

“Hi, Babe.” Claude sounded soft and rather sensual.  He did melt her heart when he spoke in that deep, soft voice.

“Hi!” Karri could hear herself sounding a little more excitable than she meant to. “How are you?  When did you get back?  Are you okay?  I haven’t heard from you in a week.  I’ve been so worried.”

“Babe, my mom…” he trailed away.  “She.. she’s dead.  She had a massive stroke and there was nothing that they could do.” She heard the anguish in his voice.  She knew she had been wrong, but felt so bad in how she had been so quick to judge.

“Oh my God! Honey, I’m so, so sorry. Is there anything…” Now it was her voice trailing off.  “Are you even back from Syracuse?”

“Babe, I need you.  I’m back, but I just came back to get a few things.  I have to fly out tomorrow again for the funeral and to get mom’s affairs in order.  It’s going to take some time.  I wanted to know…  Well, I wanted to know if you would come with me.  She would have loved you.  Like I do.  I just wish she could have met you.”

Karri sat down at her kitchen table trying to keep her emotions from getting the best of her.  She took a deep breath.  Her heart was doing a happy dance because she did really love Claude.  She hadn’t really realized it until this moment.  They had been seeing each other for 5 months and yet, she had such a difficult time embracing love and being in love much less the man of her dreams declaring his love for her.  Yet, he just did.  Was it the fact that his mother just died or that he truly did love her?  What should she say?

“Karri? Are you still there?”

“Yes, Claude, I’m here.  I’m just a bit overwhelmed.  You’ve just told me  your mom died and that you love me in the same breath.  I, I…”

“It’s okay, Karri. If this is too soon, or too much, I understand.”

“No, Claude, I do love you.  I love you so much! I want to be with you and I just feel guilty for thinking you were ignoring me over the last week.  I just thought maybe you didn’t want me, or maybe you had found someone else.  Now, I find out it’s all this.   Are you sure you want me?”

“Yes, Babe, I want you for the rest of my life.  When mom died, I realized that I love you more than I love the air that I breathe.  If I don’t have you by my side, I have no purpose.”

“When can I see you?”

“I’m right outside your door, Karri. Open the door.”

As she opened the door, she found Claude on one knee, red roses in one hand, 1 carat diamond ring in the other.  On his shirt, a sign saying “will you spend the rest of your life with me?”

“Yes, Yes! Oh my darling man, yes.”

This has been a fictional story created for The Blog Propellant which is awesomeness at it’s best!  My number that I have chosen at random is 27! I chose to  use all 3 prompts, because it’s so much fun!  I hope you enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it.  It took me about 25 minutes to write.  The hardest part was finding a picture to go with it!

 

Chaos vs. Order, the House I Love

Who doesn’t like life in an orderly manner?  I would love my house to be orderly, but that never lasts very long.  I guess it is just meant to be a bit disorderly in this stage of my life.  I have my husband, my children and my zoo.  I sure wouldn’t change any of those things now that I have them.  My life wouldn’t be the same and I enjoy having all those people and pets in my life.  Just the same, when my family asks me what I would like for my birthday, Mother’s Day, Christmas, and my Anniversary, the answer is always the same.  It’s to have the house clean.  I love order.

At my old office, I had a desk.  In my desk, I had order.  Yes, lovely order.  Then, we moved offices and suddenly, we found ourselves having to share a desk with someone else.  This was a huge change because everything I once had in one desk now had to fit in 1 and 1/2 drawers and 1/2 of the top.  I never did get that half the way I liked it, but we also never spent that much time there.  You also need to understand that we were not there very often.  We had that space, but spent most of our time in the car traveling from one patient to the next.  We worked out of our cars and out of bags kept in the boot of the car.  My order there would start off great, but over time would digress into disorder.  Every few months, the task of reorganization would ensue and once complete, I always had this sense of peace and tranquility opening up my equipment bags.  I loved cleaning those out as well as my paperwork bag.  So cathartic!

My house is another story.  I think it stems from the fact that I am not the only one living there and therefore I am not the only keeper of the cheese, so to speak.  As such, when I clean my bedroom, which I just did Friday, I find so much stuff that belongs to the rest of the household.  I hate that everyone else seems to think it’s okay to leave everything from shoes and clothes to makeup and book bags in mom and dad’s room.  It just drives me bananas!  Seriously, the kids do this all over the house no matter what we try to implement.  It’s like tiny bombs of kid stuff exploded everywhere.  I can’t tell you that my husband and I are the tidiest people in the world, but at least we don’t leave things everywhere.  We do pick up after ourselves.  My kitchen is the other place that is a catch-all for everyone’s junk. Purses, artwork, coats, papers, mail, dishes.

My husband is a lover of flat surfaces.  We have to have flat surface interventions occasionally.  It entails me going through all the receipts, coins, papers and other stuff he’s taken out of his pockets and placed on some flat surface for going through later.  He makes piles on flat surfaces when he doesn’t know what to do with something.  He always has the intention of going through them later, but his procrastination kicks in and takes over.  His later could be sometime in the next 20 years.  Not a good plan for the man to have a flat surface.

I love to have clear flat surfaces.  I love to have order.  If I had my way, I would have the house as neat and tidy as my mother kept her home.  She always went through things everyday.  She never put things off until later.  The house was clean and orderly, the way I like it.  She had a routine and knew how long it had been since the hardwood floor had been polished.  I, unfortunately couldn’t tell you the last time my hardwood floors were polished, but I know they are due.  I procrastinate more than I should.

I can tell you that my house may not be the way I’d like it, but someday it will be.  When my kids are grown and I no longer have a zoo, I will have a clean home.  It will be orderly and I will miss the chaos.  I will suffer from the empty nest syndrome.  I will be down to 2 kids at home and let me tell you, they are not going to make it cleaner this fall.  They are not neat and tidy humans!  They leave things around, so order will have to take a place on the back burner for the time being.  That is okay with me.  It will come someday.  Someday I will also have grandchildren and life in my house but I will have to give those kiddos back to my own children.  That will be okay too.  I couldn’t do the whole baby thing over again at this stage, I don’t think.  I rather enjoy sleep and independence.

Yes, I love order in my life, but I’ve learned to make things work with the chaos that is my life.  I love my life and wouldn’t change a thing.  I do enjoy those quiet moments stolen for short periods of time, but I’m always have the chaos back.  A houseful of chaos is a houseful of love.  I have a houseful of love plus some.

The Countdown Begins

What a beautiful day today is. The sun is shining and warm on my skin. The air is just the right temperature and my coffee tastes perfect this morning. I am blessed.

I am blessed also that the physicians found the cyst on my pancreas when they did. It is pre-cancerous, as it has many atypical cells. It could turn into cancer anytime it wants to, but it won’t.

It won’t because it is being removed in Friday along with the tail of my pancreas and my spleen. It’s a very big surgery and I will be out for a while afterwards. I owe it to you, my readers, to let you know why you won’t be reading anything from me Friday. I know I have the best surgeon. He specializes in pancreatic problems. He’s amazing.

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Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers on Friday. It really is a very big procedure and I’ll be in hospital for a few days. It’s a painful surgery to boot. That I’m trying not to focus on. I’m just wanting it to be over so I can get in with my life and move ahead. 

Thank you for you loyalty and friendship. I love hearing from each of you. Just keep me in those thoughts and prayers and I’ll be okay. And so my countdown begins. T minus 5 days as they say till my biggest surgery ever, and I’m no slouch in the abdominal surgery department. This is the 8th one!  Wish me luck boys and girls!

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And Sometimes Things Just Happen

20160512_184944.jpgSometimes I just don’t understand little boys.  I love my little boy very much, but there are those times when I just simply don’t understand his behaviour or that of his friends.  Most of the time, I just don’t understand the behaviour of his friends simply because I know my child’s mind. I know how his mind works, as it is so similar to my own.  There are some things that are more like my husband, of course, but for the most part, I see myself in my son.

I see this gentle boy who is fair and just struggling with injustices and abstracts at his current age of 9.  I see a rough and tumble, let’s-get-filthy-outside child who doesn’t always know how to deal with the finer points of conflicts and simply gets angry and upset, then comes inside, slamming the front door.  He tells me part of the story and I have to investigate if I feel like the infraction warrants it, or simply talk him through the tough stuff and let him know it will be alright.  It’s me that he turns to when things get difficult and I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.

My son is just newly 9.  He turned 9 one month ago.  He’s a young one in his class age-wise, but he knows more mature subject matter simply due to the fact that he has 3 older teenage sisters and his best friend is is 13.  His best friend lives next door and they have been fairly inseparable all the years we’ve been here, since the boy was just 8 months old.

I’ve decided that boys are weird.  They play strangely and they fight in a strange way too.  Many is the day, well, truth be known, most days, the boys will start playing Minecraft, then it’s outside, then back in for the X-Box and a sports game, then outside for another game, maybe some basketball, then ride the bikes, then back inside for something else.  At least once or twice during this time, the boys will separate and go their separate ways, one close to tears or slamming a door.  It’s those moments when it’s mom to the rescue.  I’m sure my friend and mom to my boy’s friend is the same as me.

I get the boy to divulge the problem, we discuss, settle the problem whenever possible and go on about our day.  About 45 minutes to an hour later, the boys are together again.  It’s weird, but it works for them.  I always worry about my boy, but I’m getting over it now.  I’m learning that he’s growing into a “big kid” now and is able to fight his own battles much easier.  He’s growing up too fast.

I admit I’m his mom, but I’m really proud of this little boy.  In 3rd grade, there was a project where all the kids had to write something positive about all their classmates.  It was a project about filling everyone’s buckets full.  A little girl in his class wrote that my boy “always has a smile and always helps others.” What a sweet and wonderful thing to read about him.  He is a good boy with a big heart, but he’s still one of those strange little boys who does weird things.