The Tale of Two Moms

The day I was born was an amazing day.  Well, of course it was because I was given a chance to have an amazing life.  My mother was young.  She was young and single and I was unexpected.  I was an accident.  I was very lucky that she loved me so much, however.  I was given the chance at a life with a different family because she gave me up for adoption.

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I don’t have any information about my birth mother, although I’ve thought about her often since learning I was adopted when I was 12.  I imagine she and I must be a lot alike.  I imagine that she is blonde with blue or green eyes.  I imagine she has a very big heart and beautiful smile.  I’m sure she’s about 5’3″ or thereabouts.

I would love to meet her to tell her thank you and to tell her that I love her.  I would love to meet her and hear about her life.  I’d love to see what she really looks like and see if she is truly like I’ve imagined her to be.  I want to hear her story.  I want to thank her for giving me such a spectacular life.  I’ve really been very blessed with the family that adopted me.  I want her to know how special they are.  The mom I was given was the most incredibly wonderful woman I’ve ever known and I want my birth mom to know just how special she was and how much I miss her.  Perhaps we could be friends? Is that what we would be? I don’t know what that relationship would be.  She is my mother.  What a blessing it would be to meet her.

The day I was born, my mom, my adopted mom, was actually pregnant but not very far along.  She didn’t know I was born.  She didn’t know she was going to be meeting me very soon.  She told me she had labor pains that night.  She couldn’t explain it and thought she was losing the baby.  She did lose the baby but not for several weeks after I was born.  She said she felt that it had something to do with God’s plan for me coming into her life even though she didn’t know I was coming that day.  She found out about me the next day.  Five days later, mom and dad came to St. John’s Hospital and picked me up.  I became their little girl from that day forward.

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My mom was always my role model.  She was my world.  I can’t say I didn’t giver her a hard time growing up.  I was a normal, moody teenager.  I luckily grew up.  She never knew until much later how grateful I was that I had her in my life.  I wish I could be half the woman my mom was.  I’m still a work in progress, but I’ll never be just like her.

Perhaps I’m more like the woman who gave birth to me, but I suppose I’ll never know.  I know I’m a good person.  I’d like to know more about why I’m like I am, but some things may be better being left unknown.  I can always use my imagination.  I’ve contemplated trying to find her, but I would never want to ruin her life if I am her dirty little secret.  A past she has tried to forget.  It’s been 46 years now.  I know if it were me, I would never stop wondering and worrying, but I never know if I should reach out.  Now that my mom is gone, I’ve revisited the thought of finding her though.

I welcome your thoughts.  My mom gave me her blessing long ago, but I wasn’t ready then.  What would you do if you were in my shoes?


This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post.  Thanks to our hosts Kristi at www.findingninee.com and Corinne at http://www.everydaygyaan.com.  This week’s sentence was “The day I was born (reborn)…”

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14 thoughts on “The Tale of Two Moms

  1. Beautiful post Deirdre. Ultimately you should follow your heart/gut feeling. It’s always right. But I’d love to see you find her and you should never think of yourself as a dirty little secret. Every child is a gift from God even if they aren’t raised by by the woman that carried them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very heartwarming story. One that resonated with me. I met my biological father at age 47. I was blessed to have been adopted by my mothers new husband at age 5. He will always be my “dad”.

    My situation was a secret that was not supposed to be noticed but it was. I don’t necessarily regret knowing, but finding out was traumatizing and my relationship with my biological father is a work in progress.

    We are creatures of curiosity so if and only if it were me I would not rest until I reached the final truth. That said we are all different and handle disappoints differently. If i had it to do over, I would.

    Thanks for sharing!!

    Frances

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So glad you linked up! Funny and cool that we both wrote about adoption. I actually did find my bio mom and met her a few years ago (and my 1/2 sister!). I never really wanted to but after my son was born, I realized how much I didn’t know. I’m really very glad that I did find her – we continue a relationship today. When I was in Colorado for the holidays, she and her husband came and met my dad and step mom (they were on a road trip – she actually lives in Oregon). DM me if you’d like to know more about how I found her/ what it was like.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. If you want to find your biological mom, do it! Once the ball is in her court, she can decide how she wants to proceed. I was going to suggest you chat with Kristi, but I see she already commented! Best of luck with whatever you decide.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What an amazing story – thank you for sharing it with us. My life has been touched by adoption many times over and I am glad for all the players on both sides of those adoptions because without them, their choices, their circumstances, my extended family wouldn’t be what it is today and I wouldn’t know my wonderful husband.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sounds like you’re handling a difficult situation rather well. My friend found her birth mother and was very unimpressed, so sometimes it’s best not to know things. I figure when it’s right, it will happen somehow.

    Liked by 1 person

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