Underestimate. We often underestimate things. We underestimate the cost of items we purchase. We underestimate what people do, especially what we are ourselves. We underestimate in particular what we are capable of. Why? I know I underestimate what I’m capable of because I frequently think I can’t do this or that. I feel not good enough or not strong enough for whatever it is that I’d like to do. I won’t say that I always think this way because that wouldn’t be true. It’s not, believe me. Once I focus on something, I am ultra focused and will ultimately achieve my goal. But the truth remains that there are bumps in the road, even in the greatest of triumphs, when I underestimate my abilities.
Sometimes I think this is our way of keeping ourselves humble to some degree. I won’t say that we become humble because we underestimate ourselves, but when we question our own abilities, it does help us to take measure of our strengths and weaknesses and offers some insight into who we are if we are indeed honest with ourselves. That part is the hard part.
We have to be good at being honest with ourselves though. We have to be kind as well as honest. It does no good to beat yourself up about not being good enough at something and not looking at the things that you are truly exceptional at. For me, I find it difficult to see the exceptional part. I find myself good enough, but not extraordinary at most things. For instance, I know very well that I’m a good nurse. I’m really good with patients. They like me. I know this because they’ve told me they like me. They’ve told me they don’t want any other nurse besides me. I suppose to some, that would make me an exceptional nurse, but to me, I see myself as a good nurse. I say this because I know that there are so many things that I don’t know in my field that would make me a better nurse. Those are the things that I strive to understand so that one day, I may be a great nurse. That, hopefully, keeps me humble.
As a parent, I’m sometimes a good one and sometimes I’m lacking in the good parent category. Who isn’t! Find me anyone who says their the perfect parent and I say they must medicate with something. Find me their drug because I want what they’re having! Seriously though, many people have their public and their private personas. In fact most people do. I had very high expectations before I had children about the kind of parent I would be. I SO underestimated what parenthood truly was. It’s grueling work. It’s neverending. It’s also the most rewarding job I’ve never taken a day off from and had for 20 years. I’ve loved it and hated it. I’ve wanted to go on strike! Alas, here I am. Still underestimating myself as a mom almost everyday and still getting up the next one and doing it all over again, and again, and again. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love these 4 kids more than the air I breathe. I wouldn’t want for a more fulfilling job as this. I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, most days.
This was written in response to the Daily Post one word prompt at https://dailypost.wordpress/underestimate