As I Was Growing and Changing

Summers filled with swimming at the swimming pool, playing tennis with my friends, playing outside until the last lightning bug was caught.  Ahhh, those were the days.  I remember them so well.  The carefree days of long, long ago.  No bills to pay, no getting up for work, no one to have to take care of.  It’s not that I would have things any other way than the way they are now, it’s just, well, some days, just some, I’d like to go back in time to visit the old days that I couldn’t wait to get out of.

When we are eight, we long to be nine.  I thought that being nine must be the coolest age ever.  I could never explain my fascination with the age of nine, but for me, I thought that nine year olds could do anything.  In my head, I had it imagined that they stayed up later, they had more independence.  It was just way cooler to be nine. Until, of course, I became nine and nothing at all changed in my life, except that I could say that I was nine.


When I was 14, I thought the world started when you became 16.  You could drive and work!  Wow, I could get a job and by golly, I would get a job as a waitress because that’s what Mary H, my mom’s friend’s daughter did.  She got one at Wag’s Restaurant and she made tips.  Everyone knew that if you made tips, you made good money.  What a life it must be if you were 16, driving and had a job that made tips.

That is exactly what I did.  Well, in the summer.  I wasn’t allowed to work during the school year.  And I got that job at Wag’s.  I wasn’t that great, but I always tried my hardest. I also was introduced to harassment, weird people hitting on me, spilling 5 cups of water on my manager and not making so much in tips that I was rolling in dough.  I worked all the time and boy, were my legs tired, but I had a job and I was so very proud of that.


Eighteen must be where it’s at.    Then you’re an adult.  Then you don’t have to listen to your parents anymore.  They are always ragging about what they want you to do.  It sucks enough that all your friends got to go away for college and your 2 choices were both in town for nursing school, so they could keep an eye on you.  You know that they said “We don’t think you’re quite ready to go away just yet” means, you can’t handle it and we are going to micromanage your life just that much more.  God help me.  I just want to be an adult already.  When will they loosen those apron strings?


I’m twenty-one, on my own and loving it, but this is so hard.  It’s hard to keep track of the bills.  I thought I’d have more money to have fun with.  God, they always treated me like such a child.  I’ll prove them wrong though.  I really will.  When I get married E and I will do just fine.  We’ll be so happy together.  They’ll see.  If he ever asks me.


Well, I’m married and it’s been a rough start.  I sure hope he does really love me as much as he said he does.  He spends a lot of his time with his friends.  My friends come to visit me, but not as much anymore now that we are having a baby.  At least I have his sister.  I’m almost done with school.  At least I finally have made my own friends here.  It’s taken me forever since all his friends are just his gamer friends and are not like me.  I’m 26 now.


Five years have past and we have 3 little girls now.  They are my life.  He’s a good father, but our relationship is awkward sometimes.  It seems to work though.  I think.  My girls are precious though.  My oldest just started kindergarten, my second one is in preschool and my 3rd is a newborn.  September 11, 2001 just happened and it’s a tragedy of epic proportions.  The world as we know it will never be the same.  I am a great mom and a nurse, but I fear I’m not a great wife anymore.  We just seem to go through the motions a lot.  It must be because the kids are small and take up so much time.


Another 6 years have elapsed.  My marriage is in ruins.  My husband left.  I don’t understand.  This is all I’ve ever wanted.  What did I do?  How did this happen?


July 28, 2006 I am marrying the man of my dreams.  Actually, he is the one I dated for 6 years through junior high, high school and part of college.  Then I dumped him.  I was bored and thought he didn’t love me.  The truth is, he never stopped loving me.  He was the one I went swimming with and played tennis with all those years ago.  He understands me like my ex-husband never did.  He is the love of my life and we will weather any storm.  We know that marriage is hard work, but he waited from 1989 until now for me.  Not that he didn’t date, but he’s only loved me.  Me! Sometimes things are better the second time around.  We hope to get pregnant as soon as possible because I’m not getting any younger.  I’m 36.  I’m a beautiful bride, even if I say so myself.


April 27,2007 Baby boy is born.  Well it certainly didn’t take us long to get pregnant.  The boy was a honey moon boy.  What a perfect, 8#, 20 inch long baby boy.  His lips are like rose buds.  He’s perfect and looks like his daddy.  I’ve never been happier and I am so happy to say that my family is finally complete.


This summer will be our 10th anniversary and I grow more in love with my husband everyday.  I can’t tell you that I wish the divorce didn’t happen, but my first marriage was not the fit that this one is.  We fit each other like a pair of old well worn kid gloves.  My husband makes me very happy and we understand each other.  It’s also so nice to have him to reminisce with about the good old days.  The day he got so mad at this brat of a kid that he dumped water on him at the tennis courts and chased him all the way to the pool where he promptly got kicked out.  He was defending his brother and myself.  Always my knight in shining armor.  My hero.  Sometimes he remembers my stories, other times he doesn’t, but he always listens to them anyway.  I thank God for this man every day and for the family I’ve been given.

Growing up is great when you’re young, but you’re always in such a rush to grow up.  Such a shame knowing what I know now.  I wish I hadn’t always wanted to be the most independent woman that I have become.  Just another reason to love Hubs I guess.  He lets me rely on him, a lot!


 


This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post with your host, Kristi from www.findingninee.com

simple ftsf

 

11 thoughts on “As I Was Growing and Changing

  1. This is great and so very true. I remember thinking that six was a big kid, that 11 was perfect because I could take the babysitting course, 16 for driving, 18 for independence, 21 for real independence (and drinking)… I, too, went through a divorce to a nice guy but… so glad you linked up!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ain’t it the truth?!? I couldn’t WAIT to be a teenager because THEY knew everything…except that when I became a teenager, all I knew was that I hated myself and I didn’t know who I was or what life meant…funny, that. I’m glad you found the man you knew all along…some folks never do. I think you’ve learned something that most folks never learn” to be happy where you are, with what you have. Good job!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What a journey through the years of your life.
    We learn so much at different ages. We probably need to go through our own timelines. Different from any other. Glad you are happy where you are, the age you are now.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It sounds as though you’ve had people who have inspired you, all through your life, with the idea that the best is yet to come. What I really like is your certainty that you’ve found it in your husband – that in spite of all that went before, which just wasn’t quite right, or quite as you had envisaged it, NOW, it’s right. NOW, it’s good.

    Wonderful 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Literally it was like reading a beautiful story of a strong & courageous women,My eyes got moisened at the end,I don’t know why? Like you i have the urge of being an independent lady,I am 17+.But i never fall in love,but i get so happy to read that you married your childhood love ,It is so powerful & Magical.I am scared that nobody will ever fall in love with me.It was good reading it,I feel so,I don’t know but it felt good.Lots of love,Take care of your health,Lots of love,Sayani

    Liked by 1 person

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