A Life Longed For

As the weeks rolled by, Kitty grew tired of just lying around.  She was so sick of this life.  She longed for the healthy days she used to have.  This pain, is this what her life was going to be like from now on?  She knew it wouldn’t be, or so they said, but after 3 longs months, each time she tried to do, or be, anything normal, the pain would come back 10 fold.  So did the low grade temp.  They said to watch out for the temps, but not to worry unless it was over 101.5. It never got that high.  It only got as high as to make her feel miserable.  100.8 degrees.  What the hell was with 100.8?

It had been nearly 2 weeks since the surgery.  She had longed for the surgery because she thought that would take the stupid pain away and she would start to feel better.  She did not anticipate feeling worse for this long.  She knew she would feel worse for a while though.  Whenever there was surgery, and this was a big one, there would be pain, but this pain was pretty much like the pain was before only all the time.  And now she had to contend with the temp and being so tired all the time.  When would she feel better?

Kitty had always been a bundle of energy.  She never slept a whole lot and that was fine.  Now, she slept all the time because being awake and just reading in her bed made her tired. If she was awake for more than 2 or 3 hours, it was nap time again.  When would it ever end?  She wanted desperately to be healthy again and to go back to work.  She longed to feel normal again.

She wasn’t allowed to even lift the 13 pound dog onto the bed.  Poor Pooch was over her weight restriction.  She had to call for help for that.  And Pooch had no clue, he just wanted up to sleep next to her.  The thought of her poor garden being ignored like it was drove her absolutely ballistic.  The thought of sitting outside, her usual favorite place, was out of the question.  It was simply too warm and she would quickly over heat.  So, stuck she was, in her bed or the recliner.  She couldn’t even sit for very long as she always did, “crisscross applesauce” or as she called it, Indian style.  She was miserable.

Where were the people that said they’d be there?  Her friends?  Well, her brother made it home from Europe early.  He was feeling guilty from missing her surgery.  He was so thrilled to see her when he got home.  Her dad came to see her once in the hospital and once since she’d been home.  Her friends next door had been there for her everyday, but now they were gone on vacation.  There were a few visitors in the hospital but since she’d been home, no one except her neighbors and her family.

She felt alone and forgotten.  Didn’t anyone realize how big this was? Didn’t anyone care? It was just a stupid pity party and she realized that too.  She would be fine.  She couldn’t expect more because everyone was busy.  At least her aunts from far away had thought of her.  She loved them so much.  She decided that she just really missed her mom in situations like this.  There was no one like one’s mom when you didn’t feel well and she no longer had her mom here.  She knew her mom was her angel though.

She grew stronger with time.  Each day got a little better.  Each week brought more strength and less tiredness.  By 6 weeks post op, Kitty was ready to face the world and the tears stopped flowing so freely.  Kitty could, at last, return to a normal life.  The life she had not had for so many months now.  The life she had longed for.

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