Agree to Disagree

Whatever happened to freedom of speech? Why is it that some people get so upset when they disagree with something someone posts on social media? Well, my friends, I’m sick of all the craziness. Why can’t we all just get along and agree to disagree? 

Recently, I did something I never do. I posted something on Facebook that was political. It was something that made me angry. A friend of mine commented and asked me to take it down. I have no idea what happened, but later, I looked and it was gone. What the heck? Indidnt remove it but someone must have complained about it. Regardless, it wasn’t even that bad. I don’t say anything that I wouldn’t say normally in normal company and this had to do with my profession. If it was not a true statement by said candidate then my apologies, but I’m still not impressed by that particular candidate. 

The thing is what makes it alright for everyone else to voice their opinions but not me? Why can’t we just be civil and disagree like adults? If I were saying something negative against the opposite candidate I known for a fact my comment would have been left alone. Again, what the heck? I’m more than a little annoyed by all this but not surprised. I’m simply asking my friends to respect my rights as an American citizen to voice my opinion and leave it alone. Enough said on that subject.

What has become of our nation? It was once perfectly alright to voice your opinion no matter which side of the political fence you were on. Now it seems that unless you are on the correct side of that fence you will offend someone and they will no longer value you in the same way they once did. What a sad state of affairs we have. That being said, I’m really not that enthused by either of the candidates this year but I will vote and let my voice be heard in the ballot box. Not here or on social media ever again. To all my “friends”, my opinion matters just as much as yours does even if I do happen to disagree with you on this one matter. Please let me have my right to share my opinions just as I let you have yours without complaint or comment. Just keep on scrolling if you don’t agree and keep it happy out there.

There’s a Storm Brewing

Have you ever felt like your mind is a storm brewing? I have. Not for any particular reason either. Sometimes, my mind just feels like a stupendous storm cloud building up energy, ready to release a downpour of torrential emotions instead of rain, for no reason other than not feeling myself, I suppose. Perhaps I’m just having one it “those” days. Usually I’m not feeling well or getting sick and simply don’t know it yet. Regardless, those storms of emotions play havoc in my life.

I’m sure I’m not the only one that has emotional storms that brew. If they do come to surface, I inevitably will erupt thunderously with a fury. It isn’t pretty, but what storm that knocks trees down is really considered attractive? I will immediately end up with a downpour of years for several reasons. First, it’s a release of pent up emotion that has been brewing inside, unable to find the proper outlet. Second, I’m ultimately so sorry for anyone that has been caught in my storm’s path. Unfortunately, it’s usually my ever faithful and always trusted husband. I always apologize to him because it is not fair. Luckily for me, however, he is the most forgiving and humble man. He always says it’s his fault even though he hasn’t done anything to deserve my storm. He just happened to be in it’s path. 

I have gotten better over the last year. I’ve learned to understand and recognize that sometimes this will happen and I have to accept my great flaw. I have to see that this is part of my depression and luckily doesn’t happen very often. I’m the work in progress and nothing worth having comes easy. Well, this journey is not easy, but I thank God that I have my husband by my side to get me through and to understand and put up with my storms. Lucky for me that he sees the sunny days that are so worth those storms.

Catching Flies with Honey

Again I am plagued with insomnia so I have been thinking about my day a d about my Mom.Mom always said you could catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Of course she was right, as usual. In today’s world, wouldn’t it be nice if more people used more honey I’m their speech and general views? I sure think so. This thought occurred to me as I listened to some of the people I was surrounded by today.

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I wish I could tell you they weren’t a jovial bunch, but I’d be lying. This group was very jovial to be sure, but their joy also had an underlying tone of something which I find distressing. They were very judgemental of others. This always makes me feel uncomfortable and put of sorts. It’s difficult to deal with at any lack of compassion for me. I’m a natural born people pleaser. I like everyone to get along and I like people to like me.

This being said, I don’t think I was the issue today. I found myself sticking up for the “little people’, the ones without a voice. I found that there were those who let the comments go like a duck ruffles the water off its back. Others fed into the negativity and then there was me. I said a few things that hopefully made them think a little differently, more positively.

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There is no winner in negativity, only losers. Why clutter the world with anything but love for our fellow human beings. We are not placed here to judge but are called to spread love and joy. If I don’t take that opportunity as I did today, I allow the negativity to take control and I haven’t lived the way my mother taught me to love? I choose love and joy. It can grow just as easily and spread like wild fire. So, today I challenge you, in the face of adversity to spread love and joy to others. See what happens in your own life.

The Better Way to Solving Conflict

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Confrontation is not something I enjoy. It’s my nature to avoid it, but sometimes we see a wrong and want to make it right. For instance, if someone you know is going on about a friend of yours and you see this happening but don’t want to get in the middle of it. Well, okay, if it involves my family or friends, I will say something for sure, but wouldn’t it be nice if we knew the best way to say something without offending everyone involved?

In one of my orientation classes we talked about this sort of circumstance in the work setting and how to deal with it. I decided this was something I wanted to share with you. I believe we all have had these experiences where we know we have to confront someone but we imagine how awful it’s going to be. We feet over it and it can cause extreme anxiety. What I learned night help though.

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First, never say anything when you are angry. You know darn well you’ll react to the emotions you are feeling instead of the situation that is upsetting you. Instead, wait until you have calmed down and can think and speak rationally again to the person you wish to confront. This could take days, but it’s better than flying off the handle and reacting to the situation.

Second, speak in first person. Say things like “I feel”, “I am concerned” or “I care”. You don’t want to place blame on the person you’re confronting or they will either shut down or fight back. Nothing calm there.

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You want to compliment the person for the good before you confront the negative issue. This helps with the whole mood of the encounter and keeps things calm. Sandwich the confrontation between compliments. Such as “you do such a great job with… But we have a problem.”  Show concern for why they did what they did by following up with “I’m concerned about you. Can I help” or “tell me what’s going on”.

Speak softly. Position yourself with a open stance and slightly bent forward to be more open and inviting to the person you are confronting. Body language is huge! It’s a lot bigger than what you say. It’s more how it’s said.

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I just found this to be very useful information and wanted to pass it along to all of you! You never know when it may come in handy. Oh. One last thought. People can’t argue with you unless you argue back. A great phrase is “I can see you’re really frustrated about that”. Try it! Let me know how it goes and as always, have a beautiful day.