Good Morning

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Duncan and Ellie (aka Eleanor Rigby)

Good morning and greetings on this crisp, sunny Spring morning.  I’ve just finished my very boring breakfast of a half slice of sourdough toast with the assistance of the fur babies, of course.  How does anyone say no to those liquid brown, or black eyes, looking up at you saying, “Mom, please, just a wee bit of the toast, please.  I promise I’ll be a good puppy”. Well, They got the crust since I’m not a big fan of that particular crust.  Now, if I’d been eating my favorite yogurt, they would have a difficult time convincing me for that bite.  I just wish I had room for my cup of coffee or tea this morning, but apparently that will have to wait for a little bit.

I’m up and dressed and ready for my day, well, as ready as I can be at the moment.  I have to wait for my doctor’s appointment to get here.  That’s the hard part.  The waiting.  I hate waiting like everyone else.  I’m hoping to take a little siesta before I leave, since my appointment isn’t until afternoon. I am finally going to see the GI specialist about my pancreas.  Just to recap, I have had abdominal pain that caused me to go the ER twice.  What was found out at the first ER visit? I have good labs.  Nothing else was really done.  They decided I had some gastritis and a UTI.  I saw my labs and I’m a nurse.  If that’s a UTI, I’m Martha Washington.  That could have been a contaminated specimen, but I took the antibiotics like a good little patient and the pain was okay for a few days.

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I left town and headed to Florida on my vacation, 1250 miles from home.  Guess what!  The pain came back and I headed to the ER in Naples, Florida.  I have to say, the care I received was terrific.  I actually got something for my pain and tests to find out what was going on.  I’m sure I won’t like my bill when it comes, but to have someone actually tell me, “Yes, you do have something on the head of your pancreas and that’s what is causing your pain” was worth it.  The doctor told me it could be one of three things.  Obviously, I’m rooting for the least problematic, a cyst.  Many people get cysts and never even know it.  So that’s one probability.  The next is a pseudocyst, a little more sinister or the last, but least expected, the big C word, pancreatic cancer.  I highly doubt that it is cancer, but all I can say is that at least this thing is on the head of my pancreas and I had pain.  I could have been that I wouldn’t have had any symptoms at all.

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Best Hubs ever

And now I wait. My labs at both ER’s were good.  No fevers, no pancreatitis, nothing else out of the ordinary.  Just me not being able to eat very much since all this started.  I’m full on very little food.  It’s very strange.  You would think I’d lose weight too, but I haven’t.  I think I look terrible because I’m very tired and that’s not good because I’m supposed to start a new job next week.  But like my husband says, “we have to take care of you first honey.  The job will wait but your health can not.” See, I told you the Hubby was golden.

Stupid pancreas anyway.  So, now you know what’s been going on in my world.  Squirrel rehabbing, hamster raising, children raising, pancreas babysitting, sleeping, me! Now, if only the dogs had thumbs and could cook.  I’d have it made.  They never leave my side. Granted, they’re usually begging for my yogurt. If only they could get it for me though. Ah, just the thought of a well trained dog, but that’s a thought for another day. Have a wonderful day.  And until next time, I bid you joy and peace.

I Think I’m Becoming Nocturnal

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Look it’s me in my dreams, anyway, also minus a laptop. I thought it was a really interesting picture to share!

I should be asleep again.  Deirdre, what are you doing up?  It’s 2:30 in the morning, you say? I know.  Believe me, I’m completely aware of this annoying fact, but I’ve got things on my mind and sleep seems just a bit too far away again.  Hopefully, living with the two hamsters who like to run races against each other on their wheels at this hour aren’t influencing my circadian rhythm.  Those two little nuggets of love seem to think sleeping all day long is great and staying up all night in the running wheels is a riot.  I swear, even though they can’t see each other, they have to be racing each other.  I think the new one, Bugatti, the one with the racing stripe down her back, is faster than the larger, more docile, Nagini.  I think we named them well.

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Way to cute not to share.  Looks like Dexter.

I know, I’m rambling once again, but what else do you do at this time of night? I’m certain there are others out there, especially in my age category, who suffer from this nasty thing called insomnia.  I have to say, I usually don’t, but I seem to have too many things on my mind again.  It is, however, very common for women of the mid 40-early 60’s to suffer with this dreaded insomnia.  It’s part of being women.  I always think back to before I had children, 20 beautiful years ago.  I could sleep through anything, then Emma was born and I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since.

I think that once a woman has a child, or even in the last part of pregnancy, you know, when you can’t get comfortable for anything , you say goodbye to sleeping well.  That time when you want to beat your husband with anything you can get ahold of because he’s sleeping soundly and says he didn’t sleep well the next day? Or, you watch them sleep.  You just sit and watch them sleep when you can’t.  Then they say they didn’t sleep well. GGgrrrrrr….

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The boy about age 3 but such a cutie!

I still remember after I had my son and it was complicated afterwards, but Hubby was great! My c-section wound had opened up and my dutiful husband would get up when the boy would wake up, after I nudged incessantly to wake his happily sleeping, snoring form up from our bed.  He would go get the boy and bring him to me, then immediately fall back to the slumbering, snoring form.  He was known to say how little he slept, and I know he didn’t sleep like he had before, but I was the one not sleeping.  Darn breast feeding for that one!  But then one day, the boy only wanted daddy to cuddle and carry him through out our small house.  This became part of the nightly routine and sleep was lost.  The hubby was more tired than he had imagined being.

I wonder if he remembers that feeling now!  Now, he sleeps with a C-PAP machine which supplies constant air pressure to make the slumbering form next to me not snore and provides him a restful sleep.  He also doesn’t keep me awake with the thunderous, oncoming locomotive snore of previous years.  Sleep apnea was diagnosed several years ago and this machine is the stuff of the Gods! Anyone who snores like that should definitely have a sleep study done and get checked out.  You are risking your life, not just irritating the one you sleep next to.  Seriously.

Ah, blissful sleep.  In another 20 minutes, it will be time to feed the baby squirrel again.  Yes, it’s the rodents of the house that are keeping me awake this lovely evening.  That and I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, well, in 12 hours actually, that I’m rather concerned about.  It’s a follow up for my pancreas.  I’ve been waiting for this one and I want answers that I know I will only have to wait longer for.  Waiting truly sucks and I am impatient.  I want to know what this is and let’s get the party started and fix me already.  I’m going by myself too, by choice.  Hubs is working overtime and I don’t want him to lose out on it.  Maybe I should take dad.  I go to his appointments so why not take him to mine.  He is my daddy.  What do you think?  Yea or Nay?  Decisions.

Well, back to preparing baby squirrel formula and feeding him.  Hubs has his “Darth Vader”mask on.  Love that thing.  Maybe I’ll even think about sleeping for a few hours.  Who knows.  Wish me luck!

I Should Be Sleeping

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An empty page just waiting for me!!  Nirvana!

Most people are sleeping at this hour of night.  Well, with the exception of those working night shift or those working evening shift, like I used to.  Regardless, I should be sleeping, but I’m not.  I have to be up and alert in a few short hours and what do you think I’m doing?  Oh, yes, most logically, I’m writing.  I just had to sit up in my bed, grab my laptop, scold the cat for getting on top of the hamster’s cage and write.

Yes, I do realize it’s 2AM, but my brain doesn’t seem to care.  The words just need to come out and be here, on this screen.  I have this compulsion to get the words to leave my brain via my fingertips and write at these very inconvenient times of day (or night).

This is the life that just is for me.  I have this addiction to writing, I suppose is what you might call it.  I just have to get the thoughts out and share them with blogland.  Since starting my blog, I have to tell you that I am humbled by those of you that have followed me and actually take time to read these random thoughts that flow freely onto the computer screen.  I do always write from my heart and I want to take this opportunity to tell you how grateful I am that you, yes, you, the one sitting there looking at your phone or computer screen, perhaps that’s a tablet of some sort, but you never the less, have taken time to get to know me through my blog.

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I should be counting stars or sheep instead of writing!

I guess this is also not only a thank you letter to you, but also a sort of follow up to my previous blog of why I write.  You see, I have to get my thoughts out, regardless of what time it is.  If I waited until morning, like some of the more sane people might, this would be completely different than it is right now.  I read in another blog about why we write that we write because we think and see the world in words.  We are words.  This is true for me.

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The sun will rise and I’ll want to be sleeping, darn it!

I’ll take it one step further and let you in on a secret.  Speaking, I don’t always have the words flowing well, but with my writing, the world of words comes tumbling forth and I don’t stumble on them like I do in person.  I don’t get anxious when I’m writing.  It’s a true blessing for me.  At least I hope I don’t sound stupid when I write.  I always feel rather stupid when I talk, especially to people I don’t know very well.  There is my secret.

Anyway, my lovely readers, I thank you so much for taking the time and reading my blog.  It truly means the world to me.  Just ask my husband!  He’d be glad to tell you.  I’m always looking to see if there are any views on my 2 blogs.  This one always outdoes my poetry page, but I’m still trying to figure out how to make a like button on there.  No one ever leaves me a comment either!  So, if you want to see my subpar poetry, visit sometime.  It’s at http://www.myblogoflife.com and leave me a comment.  I get really, really excited if anyone but my hubby leaves me a comment on there, which no one ever does!!