And They Think They Will Retain Employees…

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In recent months, I’ve come to realize a few things that I had only thought may be true, but now I know that they are indeed very true.  It seems this country, that was built on great values for hard work, has simply tossed that aside in lieu of the motto “everyone is expendable”.  What a great reason to get up in the morning and head off to work, right?  I know that certainly is going to motivate me, NOT!

It doesn’t seem to matter how many years you give to your employer either.  You can be there, body and soul, for 25 years or just be a new hire with no experience.  You can and will be replaced on a whim.  It all depends on the large corporate circumstances, company needs or just simply for whatever reason suits them, I suppose. Maybe you really were never liked and it’s a way to get rid of you.  Maybe they want fresh employees who don’t remember how things “used to be”. Whatever the reason, you are being replaced.  No help is given to help you locate some other way of supporting your family other than, good luck or “you can look at our website to see if there’s a position you’d like to apply for”.  That doesn’t help you take care of your family right now.  You know, the ones who rely on you to eat!

In my case, I have been off for several months for an extended illness.  My family medical leave protected me for 12 weeks, but not any longer than that.  I have had great anxiety about returning to my place of employment due to it’s rigorous schedule and daily stressors on both myself and on my family.  A month after my 12 weeks was up, I got a phone call on a Friday at 4:15pm from my immediate supervisor saying “we’re going to have to post your job.  You’ve been off for a long time and you mentioned coming back with less hours when you do come back. What the hell am I supposed to say?  Yippee?  I’m so glad your posting my job?  I didn’t have much of a reaction.  In fact, I informed her that yes, I would be wanting less hours.  I was floored by her next statement.  “Well, you tell me when you plan on returning so I can post a position for you to apply for.” Was this meant to make up for the fact that I now had no damn job or home in my now former office?

To make matters worse, she continued to talk about how I needed to turn in equipment and “we” needed to make sure everything was in order.  Of course it was in order.  It was that way months ago when I left.  I am not the sort of employee who leaves my work just hanging there for someone else to finish.  Was I supposed to remember this?  Apparently I was.  I didn’t.  All I heard was the fact that my job of 10 years was being posted and I had to “apply” for some position that she hadn’t even created yet.  There are others who never had to go through this in our office.  Why me?

Well, to someone with anxiety and depression, but who does a great job, this is not helpful.  I know that this is only my story and there are many others who go through the same thing.  I know my supervisor has a job to do, and I used to have one too.  I have always had great evaluations and great communication with the people I meet and see everyday.  Something has changed and it’s not good.  I know this is happening all over which is why I’m writing this.  What happened to helping each other?  For me, I will have to sort of, kind of jump through hoops just to get less hours in a newly created position back in my old office.  Confused?  Yea, me too. I have to apply for something I already know and to do what I already do, just less of it.  What the hell kind of bureaucracy is that?  How is that making good use of anyone’s time?  It certainly seems like a waste of resources to me, but that’s just little old, “I have no job”, “sorry for being sick too long” me.  Something needs to be fixed and soon.  No one should be penalized for having depression.  No one should lose their job for being ill for some extended period of time.

Depression is not something I asked for.  In fact, if you met me on the street, you would never, ever guess I suffered from depression.  I do.  Lots of people do.  Look around you and I bet that you have no idea just how many people you see are suffering in silence right now.  You can’t see depression but it’s there.  And you know what?  It sucks.  Having this on top of it?  Well, let’s just tell say it isn’t doing anything to help my depression or anxiety.