Cowardice

Being courageous is a scarcity in this day and age. I can be courageous but I wish I was more courageous than I am. I’m faced with many challenges these days. Some of them I face head on with grace and dignity. Others, well, I find them very difficult.  I’m just human afterall. I think that’s what it is anyway. A product of all that I have been raised to be mixed with my environment. 

Today’s society scares the heck out of me really. It is so vastly different from the world I knew as a child. Back then, I knew where I stood and times were easier overall. I was also sheltered and naive. But really, times were much simpler with no social media, no mobile phones, no computers. We had landlines and got together with our friends. We went to the movies, went outside, just got together and really talked to each other when we were teenagers. Our fun was listening to music and collecting band posters from magazines. There was the dawn of MTV and music videos.

Today, we are faced with so much violence and negativity and social justice is everywhere. The prejudices remain and seem to be even worse than ever. I worry about this. I worry about the world and the future for my children. How can we be courageous and not be judged harshly by this world? Its not even me I’m concerned for. Its my family.  The written word van be misconstrued so easily and one can read something into the written word that was never intended. We are opinionated and my worry is that if we are courageous and take our stand for the right and just, will we be the persecuted? I can take it, but to see my children suffer? That would kill me.

So then, would it be better to be a coward and taken the easy road and stick to the mainstream way? Is it better to create a world where good prevails and what is right, even if it means a difficult path, is fought for? I say be courageous. Fight for the good and right path. I will fight with my children and for their rights. 

I don’t always see eye to eye with my kids, but what parent does. In the end though, I have raised fighters. Independent and brave warriors for a better world. The future is theirs to make better when I am gone from this world. For now, I will pray for them and for this world that we may find peace. I pray for them that they find and create the world of acceptance and love which they desire and deserve. In my years experience it does me No good to be bitter or cynical thinking that their goals can not be achieved. I want peace as well. I just wish I could find some peace in the news instead of the violence and unrest in this world. So, you ask if I’m a coward? Yes, maybe I am, but I’m working hard to be brave like my children. It gets harder each year, but I won’t give up. I promise.

Open Communication

images-43.jpegSo today’s word prompt is open.  After thinking about this for quite some time, I decided on open communication as my topic.  I have to tell you that this is a subject that is near and dear to my heart.  Communication is something I happen to be very good at.  I’m a blabber mouth and you will always know how I feel about something, but that is not what I’m necessarily talking about here.  The communication I’m talking about is more the kind where people can openly discuss things without fear of admonition for their views or concerns.  It’s a way of communicating.

In our house, I find that open communication is so important.  I want my kids to be able to come to me with questions, concerns or problems without fear of condemnation or reproach and that is the home I have built.  It doesn’t mean that there is no discipline.  Believe me.  There is plenty of that when it’s necessary.  When my children have questions about those sensitive subjects, you know the ones, the ones we didn’t want to ask our parents, my children come to me.  Not only do they come to me, they bring their friends.  I’ve done more sex education in my home than you can shake a stick at.  Sometimes it can make me uncomfortable, but I know it’s necessary and I know that the information is given properly and very well.  I am, after all, a registered nurse and a mom.  I give the facts and from a Catholic viewpoint which is age appropriate.

Open communication is more than that though, Thank God!  It’s being able to speak to my husband and truly talk to him.  It’s not being judged.  It’s him not being judged, which he struggles with still.  Open communication is so important for a happy home.  At least it is in my  home.  I can’t imagine feeling like I couldn’t say what was on my mind.  I don’t always say what is there, but that is usually because I’m weighing out whether it is necessary to say or not, but knowing that we can talk about things in our home is important to me.  Knowing that my children can come to me with what is on there minds, or with any questions or concerns instead of going to friends or the internet for answers is of immense importance to me.  I am so grateful for having this gift in our home and sharing it with you.  It’s not always the easiest route, especially with a very curious 9 year old boy, but I’d rather he get his answers from me than anywhere else.

The Better Way to Solving Conflict

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Confrontation is not something I enjoy. It’s my nature to avoid it, but sometimes we see a wrong and want to make it right. For instance, if someone you know is going on about a friend of yours and you see this happening but don’t want to get in the middle of it. Well, okay, if it involves my family or friends, I will say something for sure, but wouldn’t it be nice if we knew the best way to say something without offending everyone involved?

In one of my orientation classes we talked about this sort of circumstance in the work setting and how to deal with it. I decided this was something I wanted to share with you. I believe we all have had these experiences where we know we have to confront someone but we imagine how awful it’s going to be. We feet over it and it can cause extreme anxiety. What I learned night help though.

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First, never say anything when you are angry. You know darn well you’ll react to the emotions you are feeling instead of the situation that is upsetting you. Instead, wait until you have calmed down and can think and speak rationally again to the person you wish to confront. This could take days, but it’s better than flying off the handle and reacting to the situation.

Second, speak in first person. Say things like “I feel”, “I am concerned” or “I care”. You don’t want to place blame on the person you’re confronting or they will either shut down or fight back. Nothing calm there.

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You want to compliment the person for the good before you confront the negative issue. This helps with the whole mood of the encounter and keeps things calm. Sandwich the confrontation between compliments. Such as “you do such a great job with… But we have a problem.”  Show concern for why they did what they did by following up with “I’m concerned about you. Can I help” or “tell me what’s going on”.

Speak softly. Position yourself with a open stance and slightly bent forward to be more open and inviting to the person you are confronting. Body language is huge! It’s a lot bigger than what you say. It’s more how it’s said.

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I just found this to be very useful information and wanted to pass it along to all of you! You never know when it may come in handy. Oh. One last thought. People can’t argue with you unless you argue back. A great phrase is “I can see you’re really frustrated about that”. Try it! Let me know how it goes and as always, have a beautiful day.