If We Were Having Coffee

happy-nurseIf we were having coffee, I would tell you how much I love our coffee weekends.  I know I’m new to this, but I’ve been looking forward to this all week. It’s been a busy week. I would tell you that I’m glad I made the change from my other job.  This job will eventually become my home just as my last job was.  It’s always hard to leave home, even when you know it’s for the best.  I will always treasure my memories and my friendships that I made there.  I was there for a long time.  It’s hard to say goodbye, but luckily, I keep in touch with my friends.  My new job is completely different from my old job.  I’m refreshed when I think about it.  I don’t dread going to work, not that I did with my old job, but I knew I would be completely drained by the end of the day, devoid of any energy to do or be anything more than a blob of mush in my bed.  Once I have learned how to do my new job properly, I think, think, mind you, that I will actually still have the energy at the end of the day to be a wife and mother.  I know I’ll be home by 5:20pm everyday and not some unknown time.  That gives me peace of mind.  It also pleases my husband and my children. I am refreshed and renewed.  Who knew?  And to think I put this off for so long!

wp-1461835552717.jpegIf we were having that coffee that we so enjoy, I’d tell you that I have a newly nine year old boy this week!  Yep, the Boy turned nine on Wednesday. He was thrilled with his new hockey gear and even got some early, just by a day, so he could use it for Tuesday’s night’s game.  He even received new blue laces for his skates.  Now, even in his uniform, I can pick him out by his skate laces and his stick.  We had to do some spiffy taping on the stick to make it “cool”.  Sure, he received some clothes which he actually was very excited about.  Yes, he’s an odd boy who likes clothes. He practiced gratitude which pleased me tremendously!  I didn’t even have to remind him to be grateful.  He even got new boxers as a present because he has decided that the briefs are annoying and he’d rather just go without than wear them. Lord help me, please! Since receiving the boxers, however, he’s thrilled to bits and no complaints in the undergarment department!

wp-1461887341942.jpegI would give you the latest update on our little squirrel friend, Dexter.  He is thriving!  Dexter is still not weaned.  Typical baby boy, just like my human boy, wanting to hold on to “mama” as long as he can, I suppose.  He now sucks down anywhere from 10-20ml of squirrel formula at a time several times a day.  Usually, he takes about 15 ml. He’s a good little squirrel but he does poop a lot, especially if he’s sitting on your shoulder.  Luckily it’s very tiny and solid and easy to pick up.  He is still on his calcium supplement for his calcium deficiency, but we have been able to lower the dose.  He loves to climb, skitter around his cage and jump from person to person.  He’s tried climbing up my curtains, but we caught him and that was the end of that.  Soon, we will hopefully be able to release him.  It will be difficult to say goodbye, but I have a feeling we will be seeing him a lot in our yard, especially looking for his squirrel biscuits.

 

Finding Joy after 40

As we approach the middle of our lives, our mindset sort of changes. We start to think of things a little differently and start to think about things we really had never considered before. One of those things is our own mortality. When we are young, we think we will live forever. Oh, how life changes us.
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We begin to ponder more seriously whether heaven and hell really exist. We ponder our financial futures and if we will be able to retire, ever! We contemplate our spouse’s mortality and health becomes an issue. If we are in the dating realm, we contemplate if we will ever find our person, our soul mate.

Family is more important than anything still, but our family roles change as well. Children grow up and start to leave our nest. I will have two daughters in college this fall and I know already how just one leaving changes the dynamics of our family. I am having a hard time imagining life with two out of the house, but life continues to march on.
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Losing my mom last November, my world changed forever. No longer could I pick up the phone and talk to her about this or that. No longer could we go have our favorite salad at Applebee’s. Her life here was completed and my own was turned upside down. For anyone that has been through the loss of their mother or father, you understand.  That loss brings to mind our own mortality.  What would happen to our family if we died? Would our children be okay?  Would our spouse be okay?  Would he/she remarry? Am I ready if God calls me home?  Will I go to heaven or hell?  Will my family be okay financially?  So many questions.
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Then, once you start thinking about those things, you start thinking about what would happen if someone you love dies as well as what will happen when you lose your other parent.  It’s a place that you could easily lose yourself if you let yourself get sucked into that void.  Death is part of life.  We are all born and the only guarantee in life is that we will eventually die.  Morbid thought, isn’t it? But losing someone so important to your very being is losing a piece of yourself.  They live on in your heart, but no longer are they here in bodily form to touch and to have a conversation with.

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As we get to the middle years, even our style of parenting changes.  One of my mom’s best friends used to tell her that every time you have a child, that child comes at a different stage in your life.  You aren’t the same at 26 as you are at 37.  It makes sense then that your children will all be just a little different because you are a little different.  Sure, there’s the genetics and the birth order, but the other factor I see in my home is the kids have different parents because we are different than we used to be.  At 26, when my oldest was born, I was full of energy.  I had no aches or pains.  I saw the world differently than I did at 37 1/2 when I had my youngest child.  Because of this, my youngest child does get away with more than my oldest did at 9.  My oldest was also more responsible too.
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Financially, we start really focusing on the future and we are able to see that there may be a light at the end of the work tunnel.  Maybe we will be able to retire, someday, but will we have saved enough?  With kids in college and more than likely weddings sometime after that (I have 3 daughters), it’s hard to come to grips with the idea that I will have to work long after 62 if I’d really like to retire comfortably.

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I also find that although I love babies, I like other people’s babies.  I have no babies pulling on my apron strings anymore and no desire to have anymore children.  I have a dear friend who has only one, beautiful little boy.  She and her husband are considering adoption at the moment.  For them, I am ecstatic. I, on the other hand, want nothing to do with bringing more children into my own house.  Four is my limit and I’m always kicking the kids to play outside because they are loud and messy.  It’s not that I dislike my children, in fact, I love them with all my heart.  It’s just that I would like to keep the few things I have in my house safe from hockey in my living room or wrestling.  Someday I pray that I will have grandchildren to spoil, but I certainly hope never to have to worry about having any additional children of my own.  I’m too old anyway. Thank God for that and hysterectomies. I’ll gladly wait for grandchildren now but I’m in no hurry.
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As I said before, life continues to move on.  We have choices.  We have so many things on our mind, but we have to move on too and remember to make the most of each day.  Each day is a gift.  Each child is a gift.  Each time you spend time with someone you love, that’s a gift.  Life is a gift not to be squandered.  We all must focus on the good and positive things in our lives, the people and things that bring us joy.  Make the most of today and everyday  You only get one chance to live your life, so dwelling on what could have been is self defeating.  So, find joy in your day and focus on that instead of the negative thoughts or comments.

 

When Friends Count

images (16)Lately, I’ve been feeling very down.  I know it’s not unusual for me to get this way but this time it’s been for a multitude of reasons.  If you’ve read any of my other posts, you know I’m a ridiculous worrier.  I worry about things and overthink everything.  Even when writing, I worry if anyone is really interested in the things I write.  Does anyone actually care?  I tend to write from my heart and my life experiences, so it makes me wonder is my life really interesting to anyone besides the people that know me?

I can tell you, it’s been rough lately.  I look at the numbers of those that visit my blogs.  I have the poetry blog and realize that not only do most people not visit it, no one ever comments on it, not even my Facebook friends.  Some of the poetry is good in my opinion and I will admit, some of it is, well, not particularly exciting.  If I’m lucky, I may have 5 or 6 people visit it on a good day.  I feel like quitting.  Then there is this blog.  My main blog. This is where I pour out my heart and soul and tell the world what’s on my mind.  I have a goal.  I have some followers.

images (55)I have those that read my blog and some leave me comments.  One has definitely become my friend.  She lifts my soul when I feel like I should just throw in the towel.  Trulyunplugged is her name on here and she is an amazing author.  I know her as Truly.  Her comments are encouraging and incredible.  She raises my spirit and actually, this morning, she brought tears of joy to my eyes.  I can’t tell you what her friendship means to me.  She lightens my heart, always knows the right thing to say and encourages me to continue writing when I think that no one really wants to read what I have to say.

I have a few friends that I know that always read my blogs that have been friends of mine for years.  They are on facebook and I love when they comment that they’ve enjoyed what they’ve read.  I love making that connection with people.  I love seeing that people have read and liked what they’ve read, but even more that what I’ve written has resonated with them somehow.  It’s all part of being human.  We all need to make connections with others.

So, I guess I’m no different from anyone else, I just feel it more than some, I suppose.  Thank you all for those of you who read my posts.  Thank you for liking and commenting.  I learn more everyday and I will persist.

Different and Irreplaceable!

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One of my favorite quotes 

It’s good to be different and not to just fit into the same mold as everyone else.  I’m talking about that one little thing that makes you uniquely you.  We all have it.  Sometimes we don’t always know what it is and need to take the time to examine ourselves to figure out what it is.  My quote on Day 2  of my 3 Quotes in 3 Days is from Coco Chanel.  She was an incredible lady who made a name for herself.

When she said “In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different”, she was absolutely right.  What is it about your best friend that makes her your best friend?  What about your spouse?  I can only speak for myself but I can tell you that my  best friends are completely irreplaceable as is my Hubs.  These people are each very unique and amazing in their own individual ways.

My Hubs has this mostly calm demeanor when it comes to me.  He understands what I need most of the time, although it hasn’t always been that way.  He has come a long way from the beginning of our marriage, or for that matter from the beginning of our relationship many years ago.  The one thing that has always remained true is his undying devotion and love for me.  That has never faltered.  We both have our own issues, but in accepting each other as we are, we have learned to grow our love instead of let it grow stagnant and cold.

He is my everything.  Without him in my world, I could not exist any more.  He is more than my other half.   He knows how to deal with my emotional drama and upsets. He knows how to just hug me and hold me when I’m worried or upset.  He doesn’t yell at me although he may become frustrated at times, he forgives my transgressions easily.  He is irreplaceable because of these things and so much more.  He is my only love, my only true love, my world.

My best friends are much the same as they each know what to say when I’m upset when I’m down or what to do to make me happy when things are not going well.  They truly show me how much they love me just about everyday.  We always keep in touch, no matter the distance or the time in between. That’s what makes our relationships special.  They are different but in the same sense that I’m different.  It’s our differences that make us irreplaceable, exactly what Coco Chanel was talking about.

In job interviews, the employers are also looking for something that makes you uniquely you, so in other words, different that the other candidates.  Don’t be too different, just be who you are.  It’s always fun to have something that makes you stand out from the others.  For instance, I’m starting a new job tomorrow.  I bet there were not other candidates who blog and write poetry on a daily basis for this job.  I’m a registered nurse by trade.  I am married with 4 beautiful children.  I’ve been a nurse for 20 years, but have been in the field of nursing for 29 years.  I’m a pianist, I can play flute and guitar (not well on the latter) and I can sing fairly well.  I love to paint and refinish furniture.  I work hard and I like to play hard when I get to play. I love to travel with my family and especially spending time with my family in Naples, Florida.  I’d rather have seafood or fish than meat. I love a good meal out and a good home cooked meal equally. These are the things that make me uniquely me.  They make me different than others.  So, if you haven’t figured out what makes you uniquely you, and different from others, think about it.  You are different and irreplaceable.  Just think about it.  I dare you!

Bane of My Existence

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Cleaning.  I loathe cleaning.  I have been working on our room with Hubs today and I’m not sure just what happened to it to get it to this form of gross!  We’ve pulled out furniture and swept in closets, thrown out clothes no longer in good repair and donated others to charity.  Since when did we begin to live like this? Oh, I remember, working too many hours and being too busy to function. images (11)

Regardless, we’ve been busy cleaning the bane of my existence.  I also do happen to live with kids.  As you may also have this problem in your house, kids seem to be the epitome of messiness.  They seem to have very little sense in the realm of tidying up after themselves.  It seems to me that the trails of garbage is found where they were last seated.  I find this especially true of my younger ones and sometimes Hubs, but not as often.  It’s as if they intend to throw out the rubbish but it just doesn’t quite make it there.

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Hubs is normally quite good at tidying up, but occasionally I find rubbish in interesting places you wouldn’t expect to find it. For instance, he loves flat surfaces, but c’mon, who doesn’t feel compelled to fill those lovely flat surfaces with piles of papers or stacks of whatchamacallits! His favorite spot to fill is just above the cooktop.  It’s meant for decoration which I try to keep tidy, but inevitably, I find receipts, wallet and bits and pieces of all sorts placed there by himself for safe keeping. God save me!
My oldest two can be very tidy and my second one is always complaining of the youngest never doing a thing when it comes to their room, the trash heap, as I lovingly refer to it.  I just keep the door closed as if not, I may go in with my trash bags and just get rid of everything and set off a grenade so we can just start from scratch again.  Next year should be interesting with the second one going off to school. It will be up to #3 to keep the room spic and span all on her own.  I won’t hold my breath.  I believe I’d be dead too quickly!

My son, well, natural born enigma.  He will generally help me clean anything, but his room is ridiculously messy as he also has no idea how to take his clothes off his body and step two feet away to place them into the hamper provided for him.  I recently bimages (4)ribed him and said he couldn’t do something that he really wanted to do if he didn’t pick up his clothes first.  It worked.  Hallelujah!  I love bribery more than any other parenting technique in the books.  Absolute favorite because it works better than any of the other techniques on this kid! Today, he and his friend decided to play inside.  Ha, not having that one on this beautiful day.  My bribe? Well, if you stay inside, you will have to both clean.  No choice about it either.  Suddenly, the door closed and both boys were outside.  And there was peace.

So, I know in the realm of cleaning and having a clean home, I’m no different than any other mother.  I certainly wouldn’t win any awards from Better Homes and Gardens but that’s really okay.  As much as I might complain, I love having my home filled with all the love and craziness that comes from having 4 kids and being the neighborhood epicenter of excitement.  Granted, having a hockey game equipped with a goal in my living room, not so much, but I love each of my kids and all the kids that come over.  Kids are fabulous creatures and seeing how they all interact with each other is fantastic.  One day my house will be clean but also very quiet as Hubs and I will be just alone in our big house waiting for grandbabies to fill our laps.  For now, I guess I’ll live with the mess and they’ll have to live with me always getting after them about picking it up!

Sweet Slumber, I Miss Thee

Tending a baby squirrel is such hard work.  It’s like having a new baby in the house again.  The difference is that I’m much older now than when my children were born.  I simply don’t have the energy like I used to.  I really don’t know just how I did the lack of sleep for so long long ago, but I did as all parents do, just punt.

As I’m sitting here, I’m sitting in my bed still on a beautiful sunny, Saturday morning.  I can hear the birds singing their morning songs outside my windows as they call each other outside which to me is the epitome of Spring itself.  I’ve seen walkers with their dogs on leashes out for their morning walks and the few runners with determination in each step as they pass by my window.  I should be out there too, if for no other reason, than to work on my garden, but I’m here safely ensconced in my cocoon of covers because our little squirrel, Dexter had to be fed at 3 AM and I hadn’t been asleep yet. I also had passed on the chance to sleep afterwards until 4:30 AM.  Silly, silly, Deirdre!

Although I will get up and start my day shortly, it is so very comfy all cuddled up here.  I can’t do much if I can’t keep my eyes open anyway . I have so many things that need to get accomplished today.  There never seems to be enough time in the day to do it all or for that matter. or for that matter energy.

As for my little squirrel buddy, Dexter. he requires being fed formula every 4 hours.  I don’t mind, but that falls at 3 AM each night and again between 7 and 8 AM.  That never seems to be long enough in between for any great sleep.  Oh, it would be fine if life was great and the Boy would go to sleep at 9PM each night, but there I go dreaming again.  Last night was a rough one.  The Boy of nearly nine had a friend spend the night! The 2 boys were up until 2 AM so I was up waiting until they went to bed.  Thank goodness they weren’t up any longer than that.  I’d certainly be a walking zombie right now.  As it is, I just want to doze off to never never land for a bit and return when I’m fully refreshed and ready to feed Dexter again.  Dexter has a nice full tummy for the moment and is sleeping in a little ball, tail curled around him as he is fast asleep.

The boy is up and about after getting his breakfast.  His friend just happens to also be our neighbor and decided that he didn’t have enough sleep so he left just before 8 this morning to go home and get some more shut eye.  Grand idea altogether! The boy, however, has eaten his breakfast, had a drop of coffee  and is now playing quietly by himself, perhaps a game of NHL hockey on the NHL hockey on his X-BOX.

For now, I will take a nap as laundry has been flipped, animals have been fed and the rest of the house is quiet.  Just for 30 more minutes I will have peace to myself.  Then I will get up and ready myself for the day ahead.  I’ve already accomplished several things so a nap is deserved.  That is my Saturday morning planned! Hope you have a wonderful day.  May the sun be shining on your face today, where ever you may be.

My Glass Runneth Over

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I have been thinking about all the blessings I’ve been given in my life and I have to tell you, I’ve been truly blessed.   I was adopted when I was 5 days old by the 2 greatest parents a girl could ever ask for.  I don’t have much information about my birth parents and many people might think that to be strange in this society.  To me, I’ve always been an optimist.  My glass is more than half full.  It’s overflowing with the kindness of my parents and my family and friends.  I don’t expect things out of them.  I work hard to raise my kids.  I work hard at having a good marriage.  I realize I am a difficult person to live with, but I’m blessed by those I’m surrounded by.  What more could a girl ask for?

When I saw this quote from Oprah Winfrey, I knew immediately that this was the first quote I would use for my 3 quote challenge.  I love Oprah.  She is a woman who came from nothing and made so much for herself.  She worked incredibly hard and had such determination through such otherwise insurmountable obstacles throughout her life.  I can’t even imagine how she was able to always keep such an optimist and beautiful view of life, but she did.  She has also always been such a generous person, helping those who really needed help, just like Ellen DeGeneres does, as well.  I just admire both of them so much with each of the struggles they have faced, they have done it with dignity, something that so many people seem to lack these days.

I always try to keep my optimistic view of life and never forget the blessings I have in my life.  I may not have everything I would like to have, but I have everything I need.  I have a home to live in and keep my family safe, a car to get around and be hockey mom in, a new job that I will be starting on Monday, which I’m really excited about, food to feed my family, a family that loves me and a husband that I adore.  What more could I ever possibly need?  Of course, I could use more money, a more updated house, a cleaner house, a smaller waistline and extra time in my day, but really those are just desires, not things that are necessary to make me happy.

I can’t say that this is the way I always have seen the world.  I used to think I needed a bigger house and the small waistline to make my life really happy, but I’ve been on a journey, of sorts.  It’s been something that I think many people go through.  I can’t say I’ve ever really been a materialistic person.  My mom always commented on that.  The thing is, I was like most people in that I thought I needed more money to be happier.  I discovered somewhere along the way that it was more time spent with my family that was the most important.

My husband always says that when you are lying on your death bed, you aren’t going to say, “Gee, I wish I’d spent more time at the office”.  He’s absolutely right.  What is it that you really want in life?  For me, it is to be more grateful of the time I have with my kids and my husband.  I think of how my children are growing up and in no time they will be all out of the house and it will just be the two of us.  Just Hubs and me.

When I finally realized this, it dawned on me that no matter how much money I make, it will never really be enough, but the hours I was working at my previous job was tearing my family to bits.  I wasn’t home enough to be a mom and a wife.  I had my own mental breakdown and things got messy for awhile for other reasons totally unrelated.  I became much stronger than I ever imagined I could be.  I realized in the time I had away from work, however, that I needed a job with more flexibility and much better hours.  I start that job on Monday.  I can’t wait.  I’ve never looked forward to starting a new job so much. I still have the trepidation that goes along with starting something new, but I’ll be okay.  It’s just the newness of it all.  I’ll fit in soon enough and then I’ll be grand.

So, this quote of looking at what I have and not what I haven’t got just really struck me.  It reminded me of how truly wonderful my life is.  I have everything I need and really everything I want.  The other things, well, Hubs and I can work on those things.  Those are just icing on the cake of life.  As long as I have him, I can do anything.  He truly is my better half, and yes, he really does complete me.

I Want My Mom Again

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There is always just something we all want in our life.  We may want more time, more money, more energy.  Maybe you want another chance to do something over again so you could do it just a little differently.  I am no different from anyone else in this world and I’ve thought about this quite a bit over the last few days.  It’s a hard thing to determine sometimes because all those things are very relevant in today’s society.  I believe that everyone will agree that more hours in the day to get things done, more energy to get those things accomplished and more money to accomplish said things would be greatly useful.  But did you ever stop to really think , how would those things really improve your life? I think we would still be in the same predicament we are now because we would just find more things to fill up the time with, spend the money on and the extra energy would be depleted because of it.

croagh patrick with sheepBecause of this, I think if I had anything, I  would choose something specific.  If only I had another year with my mom.  I miss her so much.  I know that perhaps other people may ask why another year, why not just a day or why not 10 more years. Well, to be honest, I would be happy to have my mom for any length of time, but another year knowing that she could be completely healthy would give us enough time to spend each and every day together doing things together.  We could travel to Ireland to see family.  We could spend those days laughing and walking and chatting.  I could be writing all of her stories down and taking pictures of all the places she knew and know the places from her perspective.

We could travel to France.  Neither of us have ever been there.  I would love to go there with my mom and my middle daughter, who actually speaks French really well.  I know my older daughter would enjoy going with us too.  What a joy for us to spend a couple weeks in France, all of us girls, eating our way through the French countryside!

loveHow much fun it would be to spend a week with mom’s brother and his family in New York. They are fabulous and so much fun.  I haven’t seen them in so many years and I miss them tremendously.  My uncle is the last of mom’s siblings still living and the two of them were always thick as thieves.  So many stories mom had of how my uncle would even do her chores so she could study.  Never was there a better brother she told me.

We would travel where mom wanted to go, to places we’ve been and places she wanted to see.  It would be a great adventure.  When we weren’t on a magical adventure, we would have many cups of tea and ham sandwiches.  Mom would insist on cooking some of her killer awesome dinners and I know we would have to go out to eat at some really good restaurants, too!   No matter what my mom ate, and she could eat, she always maintained her stylish, slim, athletic figure, unlike me.

Even if we didn’t have all those adventures like I imagine we would, I know I would spend my time with her, especially knowing that I only had her for one last year before having to say goodbye, again.  I would try to gather as much knowledge from her as my tiny mind could possibly hold.  I would relish every single moment and treasure each touch of the hand, each hug.  I just really, really miss her.  The pain isn’t as bad as it was in the beginning, but it’s still there, always present, just not as raw as before.  So if I had one wish for anything in the world, I would tell you this…if only I had another year with my mom, I would treasure each moment and write every memory down and take so many pictures.  I would make each day count. Most of all, I would tell her I love her every day and hold her in my embrace just to remember her more.

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This has been written as part of Finish the Sentence Friday.  This week I am co-hosting with the ever fabulous, Kristi of http://www.FindingNinee.com fame! Please check out the other writers as they finish the sentence this week which is “If I only had…” Thanks for reading!

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Insomnia Strikes Again

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Well, here it is 4AM and I have yet to sleep, again!  So, to pass the time, I decided to write.  This usually helps calm my mind and lets me finally get some sleep.  I tried writing a couple poems on my other blog, but that hasn’t helped me shut my eyes and turn my brain off yet, so here I am, sitting up in my lovely bed with my lap top open and typing once again.

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I’ve decided to make a list of 25 things that bring me great joy. I think with all the negativity in this world, especially with the media always giving us more depressing news, it’s important to bring in joy and kindness into our lives.  So, just to jump start everyone off, here is my list of joy! Hope you get inspired to think about what brings you joy, be in big or small.  Sometimes the smallest things are the best!

  1. Morning cup of coffee brought to me in bed.  This is best when brought to me by Hubs or the Boy.  Yes, at nearly nine, he makes a mean cuppa java.
  2. Noosa honey or pumpkin yogurt.  It’s the best yogurt in the world.  I have to have it at least once a day.  It’s really that good. And the variety will knock your socks off!
  3.  Writing on my blogs.  Well duh!  If I didn’t love blogging, I wouldn’t do it.  Sometimes I don’t have a clue what I’m going to write until I sit and start to actually write, but it is sheer joy to me.
  4.  Likes and comments on my blogs.  This just makes me giddy.  And you should see what new followers does to me!  Ask Hubs!
  5.  Waffle Cone ice cream.  It’s just that good!
  6.  Hubs.  He is the best and puts up with me on a daily basis.  I really don’t have a clue how he does it, but I am so thankful that he does.  I’m a lot to handle most days!
  7.  My kids. Each and every day with them is a blessing.  Even when they drive me crazy, they are still unique and watching them grow up is a privilege.
  8.  Knee length black knit skirts.  They just go with everything and you can wear them all year round!
  9.  Chunky soft sweaters.  What better to wrap yourself in when it’s cold outside.
  10. Backrubs. Hubs is great at massaging those knots out of my neck and shoulders especially.  And I get them all the time.
  11.  Trips to Naples, Florida.  Can we say beach?  My favorite place on earth.  I really want to live there.  I even enjoyed their ER last visit.  I liked it way more than the one at home.
  12.  Trips to Ireland.  Family time!!!  Love spending time with my family there.  If there is a wedding then I get to see everyone.  Too bad that doesn’t happen all the time.  We all got married!
  13.  Seeing all my cousins.  We need to plan a reunion.  I miss everyone so much.  Time to talk to my big brother about that one.
  14.  Weekends in St. Louis.  More family and tons of fun things to do.
  15.  Hockey.  Especially my St. Louis Blues, baby!
  16.  Baseball.  Go St. Louis Cardinals! Love going to those games!
  17.  Seafood.  All the seafood, but especially lobster and crab.  I’m not that picky.  It just has to be fresh and tasty and have butter involved!
  18.  Family dinners.  I love when my dad and brother eat with the 6 of us.  It just feels more complete, even though mom is no longer with us.
  19.  My sister-friends.  These are the friends I choose to call sisters because I’m lacking in the sister department and I believe God just decided to give them to me a little later in life.
  20.  Fur babies.  We have currently got a houseful and I wouldn’t know what to do without all of them. Work they may be, but the love you get in return is immeasurable.
  21.  Baby squirrels and bunnies to rescue.  Although they might not always make it, I believe God places them in our hands to give them another chance at a little love and care, just in case.  If anyone can save them, we can.  We currently have Dexter who we have to give calcium supplements to in order to save his life and help his bones to heal.  Yes, he is an approximately 10 week old squirrel.
  22. My faith.  Without it, I’d never be able to get through all that I have been through, especially the last 6 months.  They’ve been the roughest, toughest months of my life. God is always by my side carrying me through the toughest times.
  23.  My dad and my brother.  My dad is the smartest and most generous man I know.  My brother is just like him.  It’s just the 3 of us now and the madness of my house.
  24. Sunshine.  Nothing feels better than sunshine on my skin.  Don’t worry, I wear sunscreen, but I love the warm kiss on my face and arms.
  25.  My garden.  My place of joy.  I’ve worked hard to make it beautiful and do something new to it each year.  This year I will plant some new roses.  One special one for my mom and one for my neighbor who passed away around the same time.  One I will plant just for me.

night sky

So there is a list of some of my joys in life.  I could go on, but that would be too wordy and I might actually be a little sleepy.  Sleep well and pleasant dreams for those of you heading to bed.  Good morning for those of you waking up! Whatever time of day it is in your part of the world, have a great day.

I Think I’m Becoming Nocturnal

cool night time pic
Look it’s me in my dreams, anyway, also minus a laptop. I thought it was a really interesting picture to share!

I should be asleep again.  Deirdre, what are you doing up?  It’s 2:30 in the morning, you say? I know.  Believe me, I’m completely aware of this annoying fact, but I’ve got things on my mind and sleep seems just a bit too far away again.  Hopefully, living with the two hamsters who like to run races against each other on their wheels at this hour aren’t influencing my circadian rhythm.  Those two little nuggets of love seem to think sleeping all day long is great and staying up all night in the running wheels is a riot.  I swear, even though they can’t see each other, they have to be racing each other.  I think the new one, Bugatti, the one with the racing stripe down her back, is faster than the larger, more docile, Nagini.  I think we named them well.

so cute squirrel
Way to cute not to share.  Looks like Dexter.

I know, I’m rambling once again, but what else do you do at this time of night? I’m certain there are others out there, especially in my age category, who suffer from this nasty thing called insomnia.  I have to say, I usually don’t, but I seem to have too many things on my mind again.  It is, however, very common for women of the mid 40-early 60’s to suffer with this dreaded insomnia.  It’s part of being women.  I always think back to before I had children, 20 beautiful years ago.  I could sleep through anything, then Emma was born and I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since.

I think that once a woman has a child, or even in the last part of pregnancy, you know, when you can’t get comfortable for anything , you say goodbye to sleeping well.  That time when you want to beat your husband with anything you can get ahold of because he’s sleeping soundly and says he didn’t sleep well the next day? Or, you watch them sleep.  You just sit and watch them sleep when you can’t.  Then they say they didn’t sleep well. GGgrrrrrr….

20141001_223352
The boy about age 3 but such a cutie!

I still remember after I had my son and it was complicated afterwards, but Hubby was great! My c-section wound had opened up and my dutiful husband would get up when the boy would wake up, after I nudged incessantly to wake his happily sleeping, snoring form up from our bed.  He would go get the boy and bring him to me, then immediately fall back to the slumbering, snoring form.  He was known to say how little he slept, and I know he didn’t sleep like he had before, but I was the one not sleeping.  Darn breast feeding for that one!  But then one day, the boy only wanted daddy to cuddle and carry him through out our small house.  This became part of the nightly routine and sleep was lost.  The hubby was more tired than he had imagined being.

I wonder if he remembers that feeling now!  Now, he sleeps with a C-PAP machine which supplies constant air pressure to make the slumbering form next to me not snore and provides him a restful sleep.  He also doesn’t keep me awake with the thunderous, oncoming locomotive snore of previous years.  Sleep apnea was diagnosed several years ago and this machine is the stuff of the Gods! Anyone who snores like that should definitely have a sleep study done and get checked out.  You are risking your life, not just irritating the one you sleep next to.  Seriously.

Ah, blissful sleep.  In another 20 minutes, it will be time to feed the baby squirrel again.  Yes, it’s the rodents of the house that are keeping me awake this lovely evening.  That and I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, well, in 12 hours actually, that I’m rather concerned about.  It’s a follow up for my pancreas.  I’ve been waiting for this one and I want answers that I know I will only have to wait longer for.  Waiting truly sucks and I am impatient.  I want to know what this is and let’s get the party started and fix me already.  I’m going by myself too, by choice.  Hubs is working overtime and I don’t want him to lose out on it.  Maybe I should take dad.  I go to his appointments so why not take him to mine.  He is my daddy.  What do you think?  Yea or Nay?  Decisions.

Well, back to preparing baby squirrel formula and feeding him.  Hubs has his “Darth Vader”mask on.  Love that thing.  Maybe I’ll even think about sleeping for a few hours.  Who knows.  Wish me luck!