Mother’s Day Without Mom


Mother’s Day is coming up and this is the first year I’m not looking forward to it. For anyone who has lost their mother it is a very difficult day. Stores are filled with reminders that Mother’s Day is approaching. TV commercials flood in with reminders. All I see are reminders that my mom isn’t getting card this year. I won’t be eating dinner with my mom this year.

I have my children who will make my day special with a card and delicious brunch. That will make this day easier, but it won’t make me miss my mom any less. I feel that now I have become motherless child. I can talk to her all the time, yet I can not hear her voice. I can no longer hug her or kiss her cheek. We can’t laugh together like we used to. It’s been just 5 months since She took her last breath. I miss her every day.


It is a concept that unless you’ve lost your mom, you simply can’t understand it no matter how hard you try. You can sympathize to an extent, but it just won’t be the same until you go through it.  It’s a misery I wouldn’t wish for anyone. Moms are so special. I know my mom was the best mom I could ever ask for. She was always full of life. That is how I will always remember her.

As we celebrate the Mother’s Day, we should remember all moms. The moms who are with us, the moms we have lost and the women who we consider moms. It’s going to be such a bittersweet Mother’s Day for me this year, but I’ll get through it. Heck, my oldest daughter won’t even be home this year.


For those of us without our moms, it’s just tough. Tears will flow for many as we remember all the good and wonderful times we had with our moms. We may seem okay on the outside but our inside may be a blubbering mess. We cry in private. We mourn for a long time. We still miss our moms no matter how many years go by or how old we are. No one can take her place. She will always be your mom.


Life Just Isn’t Fair Sometimes

Dexter and Felix last week.

This week has been one of those weeks, which isn’t good since it’s only Monday.  The problem with this week is that it’s attached to last week.  Last week, we received the little blessings of 2 beautiful baby squirrels to rehabilitate since their mother was sick, fell out of her nest and then was eaten by a dog.  We lost Felix in the wee hours yesterday morning.  This morning, I was so frightened that we may lose Dexter as well.  I can’t lose another baby squirrel.  Oh, did I mention that we also lost the little hamster we had for 2 days? Yes, I’ve quite frankly had enough of death of small, cute, furry creatures for a while.

When I looked at my little Dexter, I saw him not moving around like he was yesterday. I saw him starting to scoot his front paws instead of actually using them to climb, like he was yesterday.  I was so frightened.  All I could do was cry.

My wonderful 14 year old, Katie, took over squirrel care for me and I took a break from the world for awhile.  She fed him and also found a site which explained exactly what was going on with our baby, Dexter!  It’s on and I am praying that I can help our baby make it through this awful disease now that I have the tools to do so.

What our baby seems to have is Metabolic Bone disease and it’s basically a calcium deficiency.  I’m reading everything I can now on how to help him. I’ve given him his first calcium supplement and pray that by morning I will see a difference.  I have to get some avocados though.  I can’t believe I’m out of them.  Me, of all people, out of avocados!   Apparently, if I hand feed my sweet little Dexter the calcium laden avocado, he’ll love it. I’m sure hoping so because the first thing I noticed was his appetite declining.

I managed to give him his dose mixed with some pedialyte tonight, and I will give him the remainder of it at the next feed since he’s not been too terribly interested in his normal foods and is just as happy to have his formula.  Hopefully the special biscuits will come tomorrow and will help him as well. Ah the things we do to rehab the wee ones.

I pray that Dexter will recover from this.  It is a very painful condition as it debilitates their tiny bodies.  If the answer is calcium, I can do that.  I would do anything to rehab this little guy.  He will be released into the wild if we can get him that far, but that is our job in all this.  We are simply a stone in the path of his tiny life to building his little fortress.  I’m just praying we can do it.  I can’t have my nearly nine year old and myself crying to bits yet again!  We haven’t even gotten over Felix yet.