Saturday Morning Coffee

As We sit down to have our usual, be it coffee or tea this morning, I’ll tell you, it’s been another busy week. Why is this week unusually busy, you ask? Well, I overdid a few things and now I’m paying for them.

I’m supposed to increase my activity slowly, but apparently neither my children nor I know how, exactly to do “relax” very well. I have spent time in the ER with the boy, who is fine, had far day at the high school and various other activities. Yesterday morning I felt pretty darn good.

I wish I could say the same for now. I’ve been running a low grade temp since I got home, but last night it got up to 101 degrees. Don’t worry, the doctor knows and doesn’t want to be called until it reaches 101.5. I expected a slight elevation in my temp, but this is increasing and I’m starting to worry. My surgery was 2 weeks ago so by this time, I should be improving.

In other news, I’m killing ’em with kindness these days and let me tell you, it makes such a difference. I’ve always tried this approach to life but in my recent days, I look for kindness everywhere and spread seeds of kindness where ever I’m at. Kindness is a lifestyle, and I choose kindness. Give it a try. You can’t go wrong!

That’s it for now. Its time for another nap. I’ll see you next week. Have a wonderful weekend!

Love, Deirdre xx

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Kill ’em with Kindness

Have you ever felt awful because of what someone said very nonchalantly? I had that experience yesterday while getting my pedicure. It was a special treat given to me by my dearest friend, T. She picked me up and sped me off for some much needed girl time.

We seemed to wait forever soaking our tootsies in the lovely warm, bubbly water, waiting ever so patiently for someone to start our tropical pedicures. Finally, one of the girls came over, motioned for me to take my right foot out of the water. She took my polish off, did the same with the left foot. But while she did the left foot, quite nonchalantly, she stated, “you did your own polish.” I nodded and said yes. I’m not that frivolous as to spend $33 to have someone polish my toes all the time. It’s a treat! She further went on, “I know. I can tell. You got it all over your cuticles.”

It wasn’t necessarily what she said, but how she said it. It was demeaning. And she only stayed at my foot, yes foot, for a minute more before another client, her client I assume, came and sat down beside me. I was waiting again.

I could have complained about her attitude or her lack of attention for sure. T and I had been waiting there soaking our feet for ages by this time, but I said nothing. Eventually, another lady and a young man came and have the two of us the loveliest tropical pedicures.

What’s my point? Well, my point is simple. What good would have come from raising a fit? Perhaps her client had called for an appointment. We were walking and they were busy. The new lady was as sweet as pie. T and I walked out with beautiful toes and we each got white flowers painted on our big toes to boot! I even tried something I’ve never tried! I have baby blue nails! And they’re really cute! I love them!

Killing people with kindness always works much better than anything else, I find. Let’s all be kind to each other!

Struggles Surround Us

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Everyone has something they struggle with be it large or small. For me, I have many small things which amount to very little in the grand scheme of things and a few larger issues that do matter more.  The point is that when you look around, there isn’t a single person that isn’t struggling with something in their life at this very minute.

When we go to the store, we may have great service or we may have very poor service. My advice to you is to see things the way I do if you get the very poor service. Let’s say you are met by a cashier with a sour expression who speaks no more than absolutely necessary.

Most of you will be very put off by her/his behaviour. In my mind, I imagine what might have brought that cashier to have such a sour demeanor. Perhaps, his/her mother died recently. Perhaps her father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Whatever I imagine, it explains their demeanor and causes me to consider how I might bring a smile to their face and brighten up there day.

The power of touch and a smile cans help any person feel much better overall and like their job is actually meaningful. Isn’t that what we all want in our life? To have fewer struggles and feel more meaningful. If we view people in a positive light, they will emit positivity and begin to think and feel better. No one knows the struggles another person is going through, but if we stay positive and complain less, the struggles will lessen.

Blank Looks

Image result for blank looksShe stared at the plate set before her.  It was the weirdest conglomeration of food she’d ever seen.  The blank look on Kate’s face must have elicited the response of giggles from her husband.  He had done this on purpose, but she really would never know.  The kids were to have chosen the meal for Mother’s Day breakfast, but little did Kate know that her darling husband, Ryan had assisted them in the choosing. The girls were elated to have made mommy breakfast in bed.

As she choked down chocolate cake, scrambled eggs, some fruit salad consisting of strawberries and bananas, and some leftover pork chop from the night before with peach compote, Kate thought of how lucky she was to have such a beautiful family.  She relished the thought of this happening every year, but knew this may be the last year.  She had been diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer and had just undergone her bilateral mastectomy 2 weeks before.  She couldn’t think of her little girls growing up without her.  She had a will to live that was fiercely strong.

Her girls, Ella, aged 4 and Emma, aged 2, were her life.  She was so blessed to have them as well as having the most loving and supportive husband.  Ryan worked so hard so she could stay at home with the girls.  How had she not felt the lump? Why did she stop doing the stupid monthly self breast exams?

Tomorrow she would start the radiation and next week her chemo would begin.  She knew how sick she would be from both.  She didn’t like to think about it, but she did think about it.  Of course she thought about it.  She was normal, for God’s sake.  And she prayed every day.  She prayed for healing.  She wasn’t sure how her girls were going to handle all this change.  She looked up at her husband.  Now it was his face that was blank.

“Honey, what’s the matter?” she asked him gently reaching for his hand.

“It’s just that I could tell by looking at your lovely face what you were thinking about.  You are so beautiful.  I want you to know that I will always love you.  I will always be here for you and we will get through this.  I love you, honey.  I love you with all my heart.  I know that you are scared and I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t, but honestly, you’re going to make it.”

“Thank you,” was all she could manage to say between the tears streaming down her face.  The blank look was gone between both of them.  There love had lasted through these last 20 years of high school, college and the rest.  Their’s was a love that would stand the test of time.  If time was what God and medicine would give them.

It’s Time for Weekend Coffee!

I’m so glad you could make it this morning.  I’ve been looking forward to this time we share together all week.  I’m telling you, our weekend coffee is the highlight of my week. If we were sitting down together today, I would break out the Thomas coffee I’ve just purchased.  I’ve been so excited to share this with you.

You see, my dear friends and neighbors are from St. Louis.  I have lots of family there, too.  I love St. Louis with all my heart.  My daughter will be heading there for university in the fall, so she likes it there as well.  Anyway, I digress.  Thomas coffee is an amazing find.  When my friend, Tracey, ran a doughnut shop, the only coffee she served or would serve was Thomas coffee.  I have to tell you, I tried it once and I was hooked.  I think I’ll go make us a cup instead of just telling you about it.  It’s something you won’t believe until I tell you, but there is no bitter aftertaste.  I can’t wait for that first cup. I’m sure you’ll like it, too. You’ll see. I just wish we had something sweet to go with it.

In other news this week, my middle daughter graduated from high school last Sunday. It couldn’t have been a nicer day.  The weather was perfect and the ceremony was beautiful all along with a Catholic Mass.  We are Catholic and she graduated from a Catholic school so what better send off into the vast, new world than with a Mass.  Our pictures turned out very well, too.  I would have liked some more, like one of my dad and brother with the graduate, but that didn’t happen.  We all went out to eat lunch afterwards which was delicious and the best part was that we were all together.  Such a joy. Of course, after lunch was over, we came home, rested a bit, then she took off to attend various parties for the rest of the day.  Ah, youth!

All the kids are out of school so summer vacation has officially begun.  It’s nice not having to wake them up in the mornings and make sure the boy is ready for school.  The girls are independent, so we just hear them getting ready and off they go around 7:15 every morning.  Next year we won’t have a driver for either of the ones left at home, so we will be back on full-time taxi duty.  I will miss that, but it’s only a year until we have yet another licensed driver in the house.  Hubs and I have been spoiled over the last 4 years always having a teenager to run errands and such.

My Kindness challenge is going well so far.  I’ve just finished week 3.  This week, we focused on being, thinking and saying kind things.  This is a tough one, but I’m starting to get better.  It’s not to say that I’m an ogre or some other terrible monster.  I do have a temper, however, so it’s twice as important for me to remain calm, gentle and kind during those times.  I’m a work in progress.

Being a more gentle person is not as hard as it sounds and I’ve found that it helps my relationships. I have found over the last 3 weeks that my marriage is much more infused with love and patience.  Hubs is changing too.  I can tell he is more engaged with me than he was, and our marriage shows that. Our marriage is the focus like it should be in our life, the rest is secondary.  I love this man with my whole heart, unconditionally.  I think he’s seeing a change in me, too.  I hope he is.

Well, I hate to guzzle and to, but it’s time to get the boy up and moving.  He has a baseball game in a little over an hour.  I thought it would be raining, but it isn’t raining yet.  This little apple of my eye, my not-so-little baby boy, my sweet future who is too big to fit in the bed between Hubs and I is growing up too fast.  Soon enough, he’ll be wanting the car keys too.

Grains of Kindness

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We are all individuals. That being said, it takes each one of us to make the world a better place. In this Revolution of Kindness I want to focus on how each of us is like a grain of sand. Yes, a grain of sand.

You wouldn’t go to the beach if there were only a few grains of sand because it wouldn’t be a beach, right? It takes many grains to make up the entire beach. Well, bearing that in mind, we are like that. We encompass many views, each unique and different. We may look similar and act similarly, but if we look at each person, as with each grain of sand, you can see the vast differences.

It takes more than one view point to make a country work. No one person or viewpoint is inherently right just like there isn’t one individual that is wrong 100% of the time on every little thing. That is why we have a government made up of different individuals who are supposed to be there to do the work of those they represent. It doesn’t always work that way, but in theory it should. Ah, but I digress.

As we are simply grains of sand, alone we can accomplish a little bit, but together we can do so much. Think about a bag of sand. They use sandbags to make barriers to hold back flood waters. It’s very effective! It also takes more than one person to accomplish this task efficiently.  If one person shows kindness towards another, it pays off by making both of them happier. The second person is more than likely going to perform a kind gesture for someone else. This can and will grow if kindness is allowed to bloom.

We are the grains of sand that could make the world a much kinder place. We need kindness in our lives. First we must let the grain of Kindness grow within our hearts, then we can plant that grain in other hearts by performing random acts of kindness and using kind words. Let’s let the grains multiply to see what kind of world we can create. I know I would like to live in a world where we are more concerned with the welfare of others and less caught up in the small battles within our own hearts. What about you? Will you journey with me to a kinder world?

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Being Kind to Myself

Sometimes we have to sit back and learn to be kinder to ourselves. In my case that means telling myself that I’m worth the work. I’m worth the frustrations. I’m lovable and I can be a joy to be around. That is something I struggle with often. This week I’ve really worked hard on myself from the inside and let me tell you, it feels good!

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How many times have you told yourself that you just aren’t enough? Not even that you’re not good enough but simply not enough? I have so often thought this. I could write volumes just in this topic, but this week, not once did I let myself have the permission to think that way. You know something? I feel better. What power we have over our own minds!

I may be a great many things, but I know I am more than enough. Anyone who doesn’t see my “enoughness” is less that entitled to have my time. Okay, that sounds really harsh, but really, think about how many times you’ve put yourself in positions to do things for others and they don’t give two hoots! They just wanted someone to do the work so they didn’t have to do it. You were just enough to fill a position but that was your total worth to that person. Well, boys and girls, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Don’t sell yourself short! You’re more than enough. (Get it yet?) if these negative people were a little kinder to themselves, perhaps they would learn to be kinder to those around them. Perhaps they would feel like they are more than enough. Usually, it’s the people who are negative that need kindness in their life most, both self kindness and kindness from others.

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I’m worth more and so are you. Treating yourself with kindness is the first step to being a kinder person. You don’t have to put up with all the negativity out there. Neither do I. What I’ve found is inner peace because I’ve been kinder to myself. Yes, I sound like a hippie flower child of the 60’s. That’s just fine by me. If I’m happier within myself, the people around me will be happier to. So, what have you done this week to be kinder to yourself?

http://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com  Following her lead, I have joined the kindness challenge which inspired this post.  Please join in the kindness challenge!  It’s wonderful to start your day being kinder to yourself.  I started each day last week telling myself how I am more than good enough and that I am special.  If you follow the link above, you will find out more about this amazing challenge and join the others doing the same.  Let’s make this a kindness revolution.  We can change the world, one kind step at a time!

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Just a Whisper…

Have you ever just whispered so as  not to wake your sleeping child when they were brand new? I wasn’t one of those moms. I believed in getting them used to the noises they would be listening to from the time they came home.
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Kids get used to what they are surrounded by. I know this because I’m a mom of 4 and because I was a pediatric nurse for 16 years. I guess you could say I know a thing or two about kids. Kids have been my bread and butter, so to speak, although no longer, as I am now seeing, the big people. Regardless, kids pick up on things from their parents. If you are loud, they will be loud. If you speak softly, they will speak softly. Well, for the most part.
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In my house, my son is always amazed that I can hear him whisper. It just is something I’ve learned to do over the last 20 years. My husband mumbles a lot and I strain to hear him quite often but if clearly spoken, I can hear the whispers. My son tries this out all the time! I love it. It’s sort of a bonding thing for just the two of us.
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Whispers can be dangerous as you never know who can hear you. Words can hurt or words can heal and lift the spirit. Let our whispers be joyful and not be judgemental or hurtful to one another. Whisper something kind today and let the goodness spread.