I Should Be Sleeping

Well, I should be sleeping but here I am at 4:17AM still awake. I’ll sleep soon enough. My mind is racing tonight. Thoughts of things left to do and things I should do. Thoughts of how I can be better and what I’ve done wrong amidst things I’ve done well and things I’ve done right. Why, at bedtime can I not shut this brain off, but during the day, I could fall asleep most anywhere?

Could it be my circadian rhythm is so screwed up? Yes. Could it be the middle years and menopause? Yes. Could it be a million things on my mind and I’m my heart? Again, the answer is yes.

image

I have an uncanny knack for over thinking in a pensive sort of way. Yes pensively. I do think about things deeply while often looking angry when I’m really not. My girls call it “testing birch face” I think. What a description. Of only they understood pensive!